Planned homebirth turned positive non-emergency hospital transfer story || Emily's birth of Benson (Queensland)

In episode 56, Emily, an emergency nurse who chose to homebirth with her first baby 'Benson' shares her unexpected, non-emergency transfer to hospital story. 
Emily shares her pregnancy journey, her labour at home, and her decision to transfer into hospital, where she had a very positive experience in birthing Benson in an assisted vaginal birth, supported by her private midwife. 
She also shares some insights into her experience post partum. 

** Emily would like people to know that she realises she has used terminology such as "let me" but wants to clarify that everything she consented to was her choice <3 

Resources: 

• Low Blood Glucose (Sugar) Levels in Pregnancy - Non diabetic https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/hypoglycemic-and-pregnant#risk-factors
• The Arrive Trial 'Evidence on: The ARRIVE Trial and Elective Induction at 39 Weeks' https://evidencebasedbirth.com/arrive/
• Nitrous Oxide in Labour (Laughing Gas) https://evidencebasedbirth.com/nitrous-oxide-during-labor/

Chapters

• 2:44 The influence of nursing on birth choices
• 6:28 Navigating homebirth stigma
• 9:47 Positive birth stories and education
• 12:38 Challenges during pregnancy
• 19:19 Labour with Benson
• 25:00 Induction pressure
• 39:00 Transferring to hospital
• 52:00 The first 12 weeks

Transcript

0:02

This is Birthing at Home, a podcast. I'm Elsie, your host. I'm a home birth mom of two little boys, a doula in Melbourne supporting birth at home. I'm a mental health nurse and the co-creator of Home Birth Victoria. If you want to learn more about me, the podcast or my work as a doula, check out www.birthingathome.com.au. Before we begin, I would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri people who are the traditional custodians of the land I'm recording on in Nam, Melbourne, Australia. I would also like to acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples have been birthing at home on country for tens of thousands of years prior to the British invasion and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been ceded. In episode 56, Emily, an emergency nurse who chose to home birth with her first baby Benson, shares her unexpected non-emergency transfer to hospital story. Emily shares her pregnancy journey, her labor at home and her decision to transfer into hospital where she had a very positive experience in birthing Benson in an assisted vaginal birth supported by her private midwife. She also shares some insights into her experience postpartum. If you enjoy this episode, please rate or review it on Spotify or Apple. It helps others to find the podcast and recognize it as a good one. Enjoy. Welcome Emily to Birthing at Home, a podcast. Hi. Thanks for joining me. You're in your car studio. can see. Yes. Hiding from my baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've had a few moms like record in their cars and I maintain it's like, must be good acoustics because you know, it's all contained. cool. Do you want to give a bit of background to who you are? Who's in your family? Where you located that kind of thing? Yeah, so my name is Emily. I've got my partner Tristan and now I've got my little baby boy Vincent. We live up outside of Bundaberg on like a hobby farm so it keeps us busy. Yeah and you're also a nurse, yeah? Yeah, I'm an emergency nurse. Yeah, yeah amazing and so today you're going to share with us your preparation for a home birth and then the eventual transfer, positive transfer to hospital story. Yeah. Yeah. And you said your little one's name is Benson? Yeah, Benson. Cool, cool, Sweet. I guess, like, how did you like what came first, like home birth or like ED nursing? Like, how did how did you come about home birth? Home birth came like well before. I was like always going to be a midwife. I loved midwifery. I loved pregnancy. In grade 12, I actually did a placement with a private midwifery practice in Brisbane. wow. They let me go and just kind of do my work experience there. And that's I fell in love with home birth. Yeah. I did a lot of home birth. I didn't go to one obviously, but they talked about it. They showed me lots of videos. Yeah. And it just was so much nicer than anything I'd seen otherwise. Yeah. How were you, do you remember what the sort of story or vibes were around pregnancy and birth when you were growing up? Yeah, most people were just like, it hurts, it's so painful, you need a epidural. Yeah. That was kind of it. My mom needed four-step delivery and then had a C-section with the next one because she was told, you'll have to. Yeah, well, you had the four set birth. So like that was always like my birth story was that I was a four set birth and it was super painful and like left mom with a lot of pain and that she needed a C-section. So that's kind of all I'd known up until like a bit later. Yeah. Yeah. And so something I obviously piqued your interest and that's how you ended up on that amazing placement. Yeah. I don't, I don't actually know what it was, but I just loved midwifery. I just loved the idea of pregnancy. I thought it was so magical. And yeah, but I Fully believed at that point, like that hospital birth was what it was. When I went to the private midwifery practice, I assumed that it was still in hospital, but then obviously no, they do most of it in the community, most of it's home birth. So that was completely new to me then. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Holy moly. so then, so you're a nurse now, did you like finish school and like go straight into nursing or? I went into midwifery first, but the university was quite far from me and they were doing like big upgrades on the highways. was taking me like over two hours to get to uni and I just, yeah, was a broke uni student, couldn't really afford the fuel and stuff anymore. So I transferred to a different uni, but then I could only get into nursing. But I think kind of like that I've gone that route and got like maybe a bit more life experience. in the meantime while I'm waiting to go back? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that was also something that I worried about if I had continued midwifery and I still toy with the idea, but the fact that to become a private midwife, you need like 5,000 hours, which generally most people are doing in a hospital setting, that 5,000 hours is way too many years that I would want to be in that setting. Yeah, yeah. Maybe the ACM is listening. Change the rules, please. Yeah, yeah, well, they do talk about it. Yeah, cool. And so then you went into ED nursing and the idea of home birth like stuck with you throughout, you know, I guess, you know, I suppose it would surprise like a lot of just like, you know, with paramedicine and, you know, doctors and stuff that have home births like, yeah, emergency nursing, I imagine would have a bit of like stigma attached to like things like home birth. What was your experience with like that? Yeah, I think when I told people I was having a home birth, they were not super positive about it. Yeah. a lot more judgmental, more just like worried. Yeah. Worried like they were like, why? And yeah, they were very worried about it. A few of them were. But I think most people knew not to push me too much. It wasn't really, it wasn't open to discussion. Yeah, yeah. You're not going to change my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. And so what is availability of like home birth midwives like in Bundaberg? So when we first started trying, I think the group that I went with hadn't opened yet, so there actually wasn't a group here. So I'd kind of just gone, okay, the option is like free birth or go to hospital. And I didn't quite know how I was getting a feel about that at the time, so I really didn't want to go to hospital. But once I fell pregnant, I found out that it had opened. So there's one group here now that will do a home birth. So I was able to get in with them, which was very lucky. And so you become pregnant and like it was home birth like from the beginning or like, did you have to convince your partner or? Yeah, I think he knew I'd talked about home birth, but he also knew that when we started, I was like, there's no private midwifery here. Sure. Yeah. was like, cool, that's off the table. Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah. I think in my head, I was like, well, I'm just not going to hospitals. That's not really going to happen. I don't know what. going to happen, but I'm not going there. I don't have to. But he, he was, I started talking about it and I had the appointment with the private midwives and he was like, okay, that's not happening. And said, well, you can kind of be there or you can not be there, but it's happening. Yeah. Yeah. I think he got on board and my midwives really good and I talked to him about all of his fears and stuff to help get him fully on board. Yeah. Yeah. And did you like plan to have like anybody else like present at the birth like a doula or street midwife photographer, that kind of thing? did end up with a photographer, but it wasn't planned to be that way. She just did my maternity shoot and she said, if you want someone there and we got along really well. I invited her. sweet. that's very cool. Sweet. like. I guess maybe can you walk us through your pregnancy? also, like I'd like to know, you know, obviously we've already said that you had a positive transfer into hospital. Like what your experience of like hearing birth stories was like in your pregnancy as well. That would be great to hear about too. Yeah, so I think when I first got pregnant, I started trying to like listen to more things about birth and all of that again. but a lot of the stories that here or that people would want to tell me always seem to be quite negative. Yeah. Things didn't go well, especially when I attached Home Birth to that, then anyone felt like, well, let me tell you like my absolute horrible birth that went bad. And yeah, I feel like I everyone's kind of opinion in that way. Yeah. So I kind of just started shutting that out as I went along and I started finding other podcasts to listen to that were like more positive and Home Birth related. Yeah. And I found that was a lot better to listen to. Yeah. And I'll tell you the story. Yeah, it's wild. wild. Just like I love how they like the or like analogy or whatever it's called where it's, you know, like if somebody's like doing a sport and like you don't hear like their coaches being like. You suck, you're gonna fail. Like, why are you even bothering? Just give up. Like, why are you doing that? You don't hear them doing that. Like, so why would you do that to a pregnant woman? Like, because that's essentially what you're doing. It is. And it was so weird to me for people like that I never really spoke to much at all. And then suddenly I knew like this whole big portion of their life. Yeah. Yeah, thankfully, I think people kind of got the next after a little while, and I just kind of stopped listening to all that and kind of popped it out so that I could just focused on being more positive. Did you do any birth education or was it just your midwives? Did your partner have to do any extra stuff? I made my partner listen to every podcast thing that I could whenever we were in the car. He was trapped in the car listening to a podcast and how to support me in laybooks. like, well, I'm not planning on having anyone else there, so you're going to have to be it. Yeah. I did hypnobirthing. Which I found really helpful. But other than that, no, not really. It's just literally this means podcasts and I was going to have my midwives there. I just kind of wanted to be able to get out of my nurse brain. Yeah, totally. focus more like the hypnobirthing side and try and, you know, kind of disconnect the labor a bit more. Yeah. Yeah. In your like circle, like even within like the Bundaberg community, guess, especially if, you know, home birth midwives, you know, had only started recently to start offering, you know, home birth services. Was there like community in terms of a home birth presence in your area? Or did you know people that had had home births? I don't know anyone other than my auntie. had home births. Yeah. But I didn't know that until later on in my pregnancy. But yeah, there's actually quite a good community up here, like between here and Harvey Bay. There's regular meetups and play groups and things. yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. What was your pregnancy like? you enjoy it? No. No. It's tough, right? It was tough. was quite sick up until I was like, actually it went away earlier than I thought. think I was like 14, 15 weeks before it kind of went. Yeah. But I was quite sick during that. kind of period, you still had to obviously do nursing and... Yeah. Well, I was quite sick. But that did pass and I felt a little bit better and then I became anemic. no. So I was just so, yeah, so tired. was working all the time, couldn't do anything and I was like, this must be pregnancy for me. It was not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So I had an iron infusion and I think a couple of weeks after that, think I was probably... heading into my third trimester, once that kind of kicked in, went, okay, I actually do feel a bit better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I enjoy it more. Yeah. I had some odd things in my pregnancy. So I had like low sugars. So, if there's diabetes, I never had a high sugar, but my sugars were always quite low. And then if anything happens, like I've had an adrenaline rush, if there's something happening at work, it would drop my sugars. wow. I don't know why. I've never had it before. That's so strange. And like, how would you, would you start to feel like yuck or like, how did you start to feel? I'd start to feel like I'd start sweating. I'd start feeling sick and then I'd start feeling faint and get really shaky. Yeah. And then it happened at home and I hadn't really thought much of it, but because I was at work, were like check your sugars and it was like 2.7 I think. That's pretty low. Yeah. Yeah. my goodness. Wow. Anything else like weird? you have the gestational diabetes test or no? No, because I was having the low sugars. I did do just a fasting glucose and a Hb1AC to check for that. But I declined the oral test anyway. But the hospital wasn't going to make me do it. I don't think if I'd stayed with him anyway because I've had a sleaze. Yeah, OK. I know that's still debated on a lot of doctors will be like, no, you just have to do it. Wow. OK. I never would have been able to drink that drink. Yeah. So sick. So, I had never even thought about that. that's so interesting. Like a gastric sleeve. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. All the sugar out and you kind of feel like the same way that having a low sugar, you just feel like, yeah, so sick. So, yeah. Yeah. that's so interesting. And like, you know, planning for a home birth, working in a day. Did you have like anything that like came up that you had to like work through, like in terms of fears or worries? Were you concerned about like having to transfer or anything like that? Yeah, I was. I really didn't want to transfer, given I also worked there. Sure. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Yeah. avoid it. Yeah. But I had a lot of anxiety for my pregnancy. So I... was just very worried while I was working that I was going to go into premature labor. Yeah. That was something that I fixated on a lot. And my last week of work, I finished up earlier than I wanted. I finished it like just before I was 34 weeks. Okay, yeah. I was having contractions at work and I was vomiting and I was just feeling sick and I was like, they're probably just like my normal breaks and hits. They're just a bit worse. Yeah. And then I finished up work and they never happened again until I went into labor. So I know if pushing myself too hard and it was like... You've had enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Weird. So you finished at 34 weeks. When was he born? He was born at 41 and four. OK. So what what did you spend the next, you know, seven or so weeks doing? Well, I stayed home and relaxed a little bit and then I was like trying to get him out. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I don't want to just sit home now. After a while being at home wasn't as fun as I thought it was going to be. was quite bored. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's not like, you know, you're in your prime and you can, you know, bounce about and do all the things, right? No, and I just, felt massive. I felt huge. Everyone thought I was like a lot further along than I was. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just carried quite to the front, near which was quite large. So I just potted around for the first few weeks and then I was doing all the curve walking, eating all the dates. doing all the things that don't seem to really do all that much, but I was doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, what can they hurt, I guess. Right. Yeah. And so you did hypnobirthing. Was that something that you were like practicing like regularly, like listening to the tracks and whatever else, the breathing? I tried to listen to the tracks. I'm just not really a meditation sort of person. Yeah. And even in labor, I tried to listen to it as well. I was like, no, this isn't going to work for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. but I did a lot of the practicing the breathing. that was the biggest thing that I tried and I tried to get my partner to like, was the biggest thing I wanted to help with, help me slow down my breathing so I don't start panicking. And, did pretty well at that. So yeah. Yeah. Cool. And did you like start to set up your birth base? Like, were you planning to like have a birth pool or like, were there any like things that you were planning to use like to help with labor? Yeah, I got a TENS machine, I had one of those. I had the birth pool. We didn't get the birth pool till quite late. So thankfully I didn't go into labour a bit earlier because I got it maybe like 30 or 40 weeks. Yeah. Somewhere around there. I think everyone was kind of going overdue at the time. So birth pools were kind of being held. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And then I think right before I went into labour, a week before, I was like, I want photos up. I didn't want them before, but then that was my thing. I printed out all these photos and I had them around the house and birth affirmations. In so many places I put, you can do anything for a minute. When you hear my story later, that is very funny. So yeah, it's set up quite a beautiful space with fairy lights. Yeah. Yeah, well. I didn't get used to it. I thought it was going too much. Yeah. So you had those contractions like before you like had just before you'd finished up work. What was the start of like labour like for you? Like, did you know that you were going into labour or you know, what was the lead up like? Especially because you went over 41 weeks. Yeah. So at 41 weeks, I went to the hospital for a checkup just to like make sure like everything looked okay. And proceed on, I'd like prepped my partner before we went there. was like, they are going to try and scare us into an induction. We're not doing that. I was like, don't get sucked in. Like, we're not doing that. Unless they actually find something that's a legitimate problem, then sure. I was like, otherwise, just be prepared. And I'm very grateful I did prepare him because they did. Yeah. my goodness. So they really were pushing for me to like have an induction like the next day. They were happy whenever, like, you know, we need to get this baby out. So. What were they kind of like saying is the like reasoning? Their reasoning was which I forgot the name of the trial, but it's that one. But is it the arrive trial or something like that? Yeah, like the 39 weeks. Yeah, OK. They're like, the rate of stillbirth goes up, you know, by a lot. And I was like, but it's still quite low, right? Yes. And the one thing that I'll remember, he said to me, I'll remember forever. He said, you know, if you've been trying for a long time for this baby and you love this baby so much and you just, you know, you to make sure that they get here safely, then yeah, you've induced. But if you're happy to kind of wait, and I just like, I've asked her how do I get him? Like, he said that, didn't he? He's like, yeah, it was literally like, you love your baby, would induce and, but otherwise, you know, if you're happy to wait and take the risk, which I understand the point of risk, like presenting the risk there, but it was just so much like, If you love your baby, you'd induce. If you really love your baby, you'll induce. But if you only love them like a little bit, you know, if you've not been, you know, if you become pregnant really easy, you could just risk it. my gosh. That's wild. took us a long time to get pregnant. So it was like, don't say that to me. Yeah. my gosh. That's atrocious. So from that, though, even though I declined the induction, They said, you know, well, when would you want to discuss induction? So I'm happy to discuss it from 42 weeks. Yeah. They came back and had booked me in for 42 weeks, but not to come in on 42 weeks. I'd come in the day before to get everything started the night before. I want that. I told my partner, like, I'm not going to that. like, don't want to go. And they said, and we'll do a membrane suite now. And that was kind of the last thing I thought. that doctor and like I don't he was very polite he was very kind it's not like anything he said was like you could tell he was being arrogant or anything like that but yeah it just everything was kind of like okay well if you don't want that we'll book you in 42 weeks you'll have a membrane sweep today like there was no like discussion of risk around membrane sweeps or anything like that it was just yeah the nurse the midwife sorry we'll come in and do a membrane sweep for you Which I think like so much of it is because like they genuinely believe the words that they are saying. Yeah. Yeah. Like they are not intending to be evil. Like generally, that's my opinion. Yeah. But like when you're looking at from our perspective, like from where we're sitting, like it's just like. Yeah, I'm just like gobsmacked that like somebody would present it. Like that's kind of like worse than the dead baby card. Like it really, it really wasn't actually played on me a lot. Yeah. If he had just said, you know, well, you're risking a dead baby. could have been like, well, the evidence says not, it I literally felt like I was saying I didn't love my baby. Yeah. I told my mom about it. And then my mom was like, okay, it's time to stop being stubborn. And I was like, I was not telling you to have you. side with this doctor. I was telling you, it was ridiculous. my god. So then I got a lot of pressure from like my family just they're like you want to help you safely like that's you know the most important. Emily that makes me so sad because like you're already you know what you know at least in my personal experience like you know and from hearing other people's stories as well not even you know you're like once you like getting closer and closer and closer and more like, you know, quote unquote, overdue. The mental game is like real. Like, I mean, you're already like uncomfortable. You know, it already like, you know, it sucks like how pregnant you feel. But like mentally, like and to have that like laid on top. Yeah, that made it a lot harder. Initially, I was just so like, I guess. something's not the right way, but I was like, something in my beliefs. No, he'll come when he's ready. But then yeah, what the doctor said and then like, I think my partner did get a little nervous as well. Even though he didn't like say, you maybe we should do the induction. was quite happy to go with whatever I wanted. And he actually did say to that doctor, I said like, no, we're happy to wait. Like he actually, yeah. Yeah. And was like, no, we're quite happy with waiting. And yeah. But yeah, it's made it a lot harder and I did decide to get the membrane sweep not in hospital but I got my private midwife to do it because they came in ready to do it and I was like, I've had no time to think about it. I really want it but I'll discuss it with my midwife and she actually came out and did it for me at home which I think is way nicer anyway. totally. yeah. Which I don't know if I can membrane sweep again, not that it was a problem. There was nothing, didn't hurt. said I was pretty, was like one centimeter but she could stretch me to like three. Not that it means all that much, but it didn't hurt, which was nice. And then I labor kicked off. Like that was what, 41 weeks on the dot and it didn't start till 41 and four in the early morning. And I knew I was losing. Were you like stressed as well about this impending like 41 plus six kind of situation? Yeah, because I don't know how long I can realistically push this over. I have probably pushed it out a couple of days, but then I'll say if I don't go into labour then I probably would have gone through an induction. My mum didn't go into labour till 42 weeks. So I didn't want to go on 42 weeks. My mum was 42 weeks. I'll go to 42 and two or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I, yeah, but it did make it felt like I had to get him out and As I've gotten closer to the due date, I've gotten a little bit more scared of going into labor, which probably wasn't helping me go into labor. That kind of kicks out of like, okay, no, we're going curb walking. We're doing all the things, like eating all the classic food, whatever we can do to move along. That bounce is all constantly on it. Then labor just didn't start. The membrane's sweet. They say normally if it's going to work, if it works. It would be like roughly within two days people go into labor, which I did not, but my membrane, started my new test. Yeah. Yeah. And that's how I kind of felt like I was going into labor. It started getting a little bit crampy. And then I just had like sporadic contractions for the first day and a half. And then I kicked off into active labor quite fast. Yeah. So I think I got So it's just like having, I have the tense machine on. I've been having contractions like throughout the day, but they'd go from like being five minutes apart for a little while and then they'd be 30 minutes apart. And I did have to stop with them, but I didn't consider them to be like active labor and obviously being so spaced out. And then once I had a big contraction just before 6pm, that's when like everything was going and it went quite fast, a lot faster than I expected. My first big contraction was three minutes something long according to the TENS machine, which I wish I hadn't seen. Yeah. And I freaked out because it went from being like I could manage, could breathe through the contractions to like it went for so long and it was so intense that I like freaked out. I started crying. I pulled off the TENS machine. Like my partner was trying to help me so I could get into the shower. I stuck the TENS machine on him by accident. So I zapped the heck out of him. no. I think it helped because it gave me a distraction. like, what? What's going on? Made me laugh. But we got me in the shower and I think we only made it 30 minutes before we called my midwife because they started being three in 10 minutes and then quite quickly it was four in 10 and they were quite intense. And my partner was like, we should probably call the midwife. And I was like, no. And I was making all the like low noises. Yeah. He's like, but you said like, if you start making those noises, like I need to call the midwife. And I was like, no, I think I'm just making them. I just, I'm just pretending. I'm just pretending. I've convinced myself the entire labor that I was just nowhere near as close as I was. Like, like, no, I've got days left. Yeah. Wow. And like, so you'd have been, had like, you know, spaced out contractions or whatever for, you know, the previous 24 hours. Like, had you been able to get much sleep or like, what was that like? No, I hadn't really got much sleep. Yeah. I think I got like sleep in between the contractions, but I like 3am in that like early period that they'd started, they got quite regular and quite strong. I was waking up and my partner started timing them without me really realizing he was like, they're like five minutes apart, you should call them midwife. But I was like, no, I just knew they weren't. At that point, I guess I knew, I didn't seem to know later. yeah. I was like, this isn't it. And I'm glad it did, once the sun came up, they spaced out quite a lot. Yeah, yeah. And so you said that, you know, in the lead up, you had started to like get worried or like, you know, have some fear around labor. Do you remember like what in particular you like were worried about like what was going through your mind? I worried that I had had this fear I'd have like two or three contractions and just be like, everyone was right. I need an extra drill. We need to go. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know what that pain was going to feel like. And I was like, No, I can do this at home. But then there's a voice in the back like, but you might have like two contractions and work out like you can't like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was worried about transferring. didn't really want to transfer. I wasn't really wanting that for my story. We live quite far out of town. I think Wow, okay. transfer with my partner. He was quite anxious. That was what he told me after that was he was most anxious about having the drive to the hospital. Yeah, if I was still in labor. So yeah, and I worked I worked through most of those fears and once I started having some contractions, I like, I can do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I just needed a few of the proper contractions to go like, OK, I don't need to leave the second labour start. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm done. I'm done. That's it. Just pausing here to let you know about this episode's sponsor. The Dear Me Mother-to-be Pregnancy Journal was created for the brave women who want to be transformed during pregnancy. It is a one of its kind pregnancy journal filled with 48 reflective questions to facilitate powerful inner work and healing and assist with mental preparation for labor and motherhood. It goes deep on many topics that commonly arise for women during pregnancy, such as addressing labor fears, the mother wound and worries about motherhood. There are also many questions that can be shared with your pregnancy and birth support team. The questions were carefully formulated by experienced counselor and home birthing mother Stephanie Bevert. She was driven to create the journal after her own empowering pregnancy and birth experience and her knowledge of how powerful inner work can be during pregnancy. Dear Me Mother-to-Be is proudly a mom run Australian business who ships Australia wide. Visit the website www.dearmemothertob.com for your order. and access free pregnancy resources. And so you called the midwives and that did they like live also far away or? Yeah, like I think they live. I think they live in town for 30 minutes from me or so. OK, yeah. So I think we called her at 630. I think she arrived at about 730. I think from the phone, I think she could hear. Obviously I was like, yeah, not just pretending. I don't know why I thought I was. But yeah, so I think she came out quite early. They got the pool ready and I was in that pool at I think maybe eight inch. So was only like two hours after like I went into active labor. again, I was like convinced. was like days away from having a baby. Also pretending, know. Also pretending. Just for fun. Just for fun, yeah. I don't know. I continued my whole labor. don't know why. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. and so did you find like that the contractions were like less intense in the pool or what was your experience like in the pool? was in the shower and I had the shower and like as hot as it could go. Yeah. We had installed a, before I went inside, we installed instant gas hot water system. So like we just have like continuous water. And so I've been under like really hot water in the shower. So when I got in the pool. It didn't really feel the same and I expected it to be like a lot better in the pool. I don't know. It didn't feel like that for me. Yeah. So unexpected. I love being in the water. If I ever have pain, like a bath will fix it. So I just thought I would love it. And no, didn't. Yeah. Interesting. The photos are beautiful. Follow man. Yeah. But I also don't know if it was just because it was so fast and so intense. I just, yeah, I didn't really deal with it. it in that moment very well, like I was getting quite panicky in between contractions. didn't help. So I asked for the gas and air, which they actually can bring. They had, okay, cool. Yeah. And that did help for a while. Yeah. Yeah. And so the photographer is also there. No, because I told my partner not to call her because we were days away. sorry. I forgot we were pretending. And I think I started maybe like just around 10, maybe a little bit before my midwife was like, are you pushing? And I was like, no, I don't think so. I was pushing. And then my father's like, so should we be calling the photographer? She's like, she's already on her way. Yes. my gosh. my gosh. So, so you're pushing at like, say 10 p.m. ish. Yeah. Do you want to walk us through the rest of your story then? Yeah, so I was in the water. I think I started pushing. I wasn't really having the like the fetal ejection reflex. I was just kind of starting to push for some of the contractions. And that ramped up quite quickly. I I was maybe the next hour. And then I started having the fetal ejection reflex like it was a very unexpected feeling. It was so strong. I couldn't stop it. And it was that is when I would say that there was more so pain involved. Yeah. And I remember telling my midwife like, he's not moving. Yeah. Like could feel he wasn't moving. And she's like, okay, well, let's try like a few different positions. Like move around in the pool and something that you know, might feel a bit more comfortable or a squat in the pool. But with all of that, I had like this particular pain, I remember like on the right side. Okay. And a lot of pain in my back. which my partner was doing hip squeezers for, which helped immensely. But I just felt like he wasn't moving. And I'd been pushing for a while and Amy's like, think you're closer than you think you are. Cause I still didn't think again. I don't think I thought I was going to baby soon. And she's like, well, if you put your hand down there, you might actually be able to feel your baby. And so I did after a while, I didn't really want to know in case there was nothing there. Cause I felt like he hadn't moved. And I put my hand down there and there was nothing there. And I was so upset. Wow. No, I can't feel any of him. Like I can't feel him at all. There's nothing there. Yeah. So she wanted to do a check. But I think I got a bit strapped to that point. I'm like, no, because if I'm at three centimeters, I don't want to know about it. Like I don't want to know. So no, I don't want to check right now. So she let me go for a little bit longer. And I think after I said I would really like to just check, because you've been pushing for a while. Yeah. if we can see what's going on. And she said I was, I think she said I was like nine and a half centimeters, darling. So I still had a tiny bit to go, but she's like, your body's doing everything it's meant to do. You're pushing just to help you open up that little bit more. But she wanted to see if we could get out the pool and see if we could do some different positions and things and see if that would work. I was quite stubborn that I couldn't do a lot of the positions because I was in a bit of pain. So I I struggled to move a lot with them. But we did get me on the bed. We went back into the shower. They get me on the toilet for a while. But with all of that, there was just no movement. could feel it. was just he's not moving. And in your, in your head, had you, you know, because like it's such an internal thing as well. Had you thought like, crap, maybe I do need to go to the hospital or what or you were still just in like, my God, this is not fun. Yeah, I thought I think I asked for an ambulance like an hour and yeah, okay. Yeah. And she said, but what do you want the ambulance for? And I don't know. And she goes, well, then we'll probably won't call them. She was quite good. She was, she made me laugh a few times in labor, which I kind of needed. Yeah. So yeah, but I think I thought at this point we needed to transfer because I was just pushing so hard. I wasn't even pushing, my body was pushing so hard and I could just feel it and just wasn't moving. Yeah, yeah. So I think around 12, 20-ish maybe. They'd been talking about transferring for a little bit and we started seeing some changes with his heart rate. So they were like, all right, this is the time we're getting up, we're going now. Yeah. So we bundled everything up and got in the car. I had the laughing gas in the car. I had a great time the whole trip in. I was fine. Yeah. that's good. heart was very panicked because I kept like going into like labor land in between the pushing. Yeah. So he just could not work out. if I, he's like, are you alive back there? Yeah. Yeah. So you transferred in, in the car? Yeah, just in the car. Yeah. Cause we're so, we're so far out of town anyway, there's not a lot of ambulances. Yeah. They probably would have wanted to lay me down on my back and there was just no way. Yeah. And by the time like the ambulance like gets to you, you could have already been well on your way. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, we just transferred him by car. Yeah. And your midwives were able to come into the hospital as well. Like were they coming with you? Yeah. Yeah. So both midwives came just in case I gave birth in the car. Of course. Yeah. One, my main midwife, came upstairs with me. They don't have rights at Bundaberg Hospital, like most places they don't. She's able to come in with and they seem to have like good relationship with the hospital. Which is really good. Did you do anything like... you know, in particular to help ease that transition into a hospital or like was there, you know, once you get there, like, was there anything, you know, in particular that was going through your mind? Was it like how you expected? I mean, working in a hospital, you obviously do have an understanding of, you know, what it's going to look like, what it's going to smell like, like, you know, the people, the bright lights, et cetera. But was there anything like that that came up? No, I actually couldn't have cared less by this point. Sure. I had a pillow and on walking up to the ward, I was lying down on the ground, my contractions on top of this pillow screaming. Once I got in there, I did not care anymore. Being that I worked there, I I wasn't going to be able to sit still for an epidural anyway. I went in demanding a general C-section. which they weren't so busy. And they're like, this lady just planned a home birth and she's demanding to be knocked out. But that's like classic labor. Yeah. And I'd like said to my partner in the car, was like, do not let them talk us out of it, that is what I want. And it was never going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they were all really great. They kind of got everyone in. But everyone introduced themselves, even though I didn't really care at the time. Everyone did introduce themselves. They tried to wait for my contractions to pass. They did want to get me up on a bed to have like a look and I was like, absolutely not. I'm not getting on that bed. And they worked with me with that for a little while. But I think my waters started to go and I started to feel a little bit better once they went. I didn't fully gone, but I just remember, maybe I... I don't know, I also couldn't see a lot of my labor. So maybe it was that as well, I have no idea. But that felt a little bit better and I was able to get up on the bed and they gave me life again. And that was okay. The only part that I wish had gone better is I just could not sit still enough for the CTG. Yeah, that's so annoying. I just was like, and I just didn't want to be on my back. So I was just, you know, constantly moving when I had a contraction. Yeah. So they couldn't really get his heart rate from there. And my heart rate was so high that they were like, well, we don't know if it's mum's or if it's baby's at the moment. Yeah. They tried the fetal scalp. the electrode thing. didn't work. So they were like, we can't, there's no heart beat. Yeah. So that was the only part that like they reassured me multiple times like, no, we have seen his heartbeat, like when we found to get it on the CTG, but she's like, they just aren't working the electrodes. It's just not working. Yeah. wouldn't work. So they did a quick ultrasound. He was fine. was chilling in there. And so they're doing all of this like whilst you're actively like doing your thing. Yeah. And I was moving up like a lot. They were very good with me because I heard so many of the horror stories and they'd be like, no, you need to get up on the bed. Like no one spoke to me like that. Yeah. Even when they did eventually get me up on the bed, they were like, no, they were just kind of, really need you to hop on the bed if you can. Like we can help you. They were very respectful. And I think because they couldn't get a really good trace on his heart, right? And he just hadn't moved in so long. They were like, well, we kind of need to get this baby out. So I think they ended up calling in the after hours operating team to at least get a spinal in and then with potential for going for a C-section. I started pushing and they started seeing a little bit of movement. So they decided to try a vacuum instead, which I was happy for. And once they had it on properly, he was out in like two contractions. yeah, it definitely wasn't what I wanted, but the relief when he started moving with that vacuum was so good. was the relief I was looking for the whole time I was pushing. I think there was no... You hear about people saying like it felt better when I started pushing. It felt so bad when I was pushing. just don't know. This is the way he was positioned. Like he was trying to come out like near his ear. like asynclytic or something. But it sounds like, the midwives were like helping you to like get into different positions. And like sometimes I know that, you know, once your waters start to go, like that can be the final, like, know, push. But yeah. Wow. It was not what I wanted. Yeah. But they did give me no one spoke to me like this is what is going to happen. Yeah. Amazing. Everything was consensual again. Yeah. They would wait for my traction to go to be like, is it OK if we move on to this? Yeah. And I'd love to say that I could have pushed him out myself and maybe I could have maybe it would have eventually happened. But the relief when they started using that vaccine, I feel like he was just stuck somewhere in there. Yeah. was not moving. yeah, yeah. little thing, came out with a... little... cone Cone down to the top. Which happens anyway, but it was just, normally see them go upwards and his was the other. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what was the space like? So it was it's an obstetrician that does the vacuum, is that correct? Yeah. Yeah. So there was... I actually didn't even really know who was in the room. I was in my own little world. But it was the two obstetricians. I had two midwives plus my midwife plus my partner plus the photographer was actually allowed to come in. excellent. She tagged along for a bit. then I think once they started talking about theatre, she decided to go at that point to give us our space. And then they had a pediatrician as well. He needed just a little bit of CPAP. because he was bit shocked. Yeah. Which is kind of expected when they get him out of there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But otherwise he was he was fine. had that came back over to me and he was looking for the boob. Yeah. Yeah. And how did you like, you know, once he's like on your chest, like, how did that feel? I felt amazing. I was so nervous that if we transferred or that, you know, I had anything like that, I struggled to bond, but it was no. There's no way I'm so happy when I was put on my chest. Yeah. So happy about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, that is your baby, you know, like you created that baby. And I think it's also important to think about, like. The the benefit of being at home and laboring at home, because like if you had of, you know, gone along at 41 plus six or five or whatever for that induction and you know, had your whole labor play out in a hospital setting. I feel like a hundred percent it would have been so different. If I even had had to go into hospital, the like the way I was at home. Yeah. I would have had a picture of. Yeah. Yeah. Because I just became so panicked when the contractions started as fast as they did. And I loved the fact that I was at home. It made me use the other options that were helping. Yeah. tower, pens, my partner pushing on my hips. Yeah. And if I'd gone in for an induction, they would have needed the CTG monitoring. I would not have coped with it. I needed to be able to move. I needed to be able to like rig around. I was not sitting still at all. I'm so sure that would not, and they would not have let me be kind of pushing for as long as, they didn't even like how long I was pushing once I got there. Yeah. Yeah, I think there would have been intervention a lot earlier. Yeah. Yeah. If I'd been at hospital. But they didn't get a big heads up that I was coming in. They were ready. They were prepared and they're all very respectful. Very respectful. In fact, I had a home birth. One of the doctors apologised. I didn't get my home birth. Wow. Like I hope you like you have another kid. I hope you get your home birth. my gosh, that almost made me cry. That's so sensitive. Like I know it was so lovely. And one of the other midwives, she had her babies at home over in the UK. So. It seemed like the staff were all very respectful and very lovely. And even my experience throughout my pregnancy when they found out was with the private midwives and was having a home birth, there was actually no negativity towards it at all at any point. Only the discussion and induction I found was negative. But otherwise, everyone seemed to have good things to say about my midwives and it was really supportive. Yeah, beautiful. with the placenta, like what was that like? I was really hoping to not have to have the oxytocin shot prior, but because everything just happened so fast and then I had my baby and everything, I think they were a little bit worried with how long everything had gone, how quick the actual birth was. They were just a bit worried that I might end up hemorrhaging. Yeah. So they just asked if they could do it and at that point I was like, Yeah, yeah, jab me. Yeah. Yeah, jab me. I didn't even cross my mind at the time. But they said straight away, like, are you wanting to keep your presenter? Which I was. Wow. they all bagged up and ready for my partner to take home. Whoa. Which was good. Yeah. Yeah. that's really nice. They were. Yeah, they were really supportive. And I that makes the biggest difference because I could have left that obviously a lot of the things within. the labor of him with 100 % of what I did not want. did not want like an instrumental work. did not want active management. But because they were all so respectful, I'd been given the opportunity to try and move in myself. done all the positions. Yeah. And I think I had enough time to know myself. I just felt like he just wasn't gonna move. Yeah. And I felt like that from pretty early on in my coaching. I remember saying that pretty early on. Like I felt like the positioning was off. And no matter what we did, he just didn't seem to shift much. So if I'd been a little bit more willing to do some of the other things, know, never know, maybe he would have moved, but you were not going to catch me hanging upside down in labor. It just wasn't going to happen at that point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. 100%. how long did you stay in hospital for? we stayed for just over 24 hours only because when they, when he came out, there was meconium. Yeah. and I can't remember the name for it, but like a lot of very new meconium. They were just a little worried that he'd aspirated it. But it all seemed to have come out like as they were pulling him out. So because there was that present they wanted him to stay for 24 hours. I could go back in time and tell myself, I would say, like, you can leave whenever you want. I could have left. I could have definitely left earlier. I think it would have been better if I'd left earlier. They had me in this freezing cold room, which they didn't realize they actually changed the temperature in this room. So was so cold, me and Hansel were so cold, it affected my breastfeeding journey a little bit for like a good week there, it's freezing cold air and he was feeding so often that I got these like wind chaps. my gosh, she's like three Antarctica in there. my goodness. So, yeah, that hurt for like a week, but otherwise since then everything else has been smooth sailing, like he breastfeeds like champ. Yeah. And you said he's 12 weeks now. Yeah, he's 12 weeks now. So he's smiling, he's laughing, he's talking now, he's very chatty. Yeah, yeah. Might be going through his full month's regression a little early because yeah, he's just getting up and all hours of the night just to chat with me. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, he might miss something, you know. he's got a lot to say. So cute, so cute. And so, you know, what's the past 12 weeks been like, especially like in, you know, the sense of You know, having had this, you know, planned home birth hospital transfer birth journey, like how has that all felt like in the past 12 weeks? Obviously, you're you feel able to share it, which is like so amazing. But like, what's that been like for you? When I left the hospital, I was 100 % happy with how everything went. I was like. It was supposed to be a home birth, but things didn't quite go right. I had to go to the hospital and, you know, they helped me a little bit and then we got to come home. I was happy. Everyone was healthy. I thought being at home was so good for all of my labor. So for me, I was so positive about it. It wasn't until I started talking with other people that I realized that other people didn't feel that way for me. Wow. Yeah. Okay. I got asked a lot like, so you'll just have the next one at the hospital then? no. Like, no, I'm happy with how it went. And I think that took people a little while to wrap their heads around. Yeah. But no, because like I got to labour at home and labouring at home was so beautiful. Yeah. So I got that commitment from a few different people. That kind of was the only thing that I found a bit hard and I found it a bit hard. this is like I wanted to be like a home birth mum, but I felt like I didn't quite have that place because I went to hospital. Which I've worked with that now and I feel fine about it now. But yeah, to begin with, that's the only thing. I felt like I couldn't fit in with people that I chose in the hospital. And then I also felt like I wasn't a part of, I be a part of this community for home birth because I didn't get to have him at home. yeah, I've got through those feelings kind of now. Otherwise, the past 12 weeks, the only thing that I would touch on, I think it's talked about enough, is I had a prolapse. Well, okay, yeah. So... a second, I think it was called a second degree prolapse. So I knew everything wasn't feeling quite right down there, but I was still probably doing too much. I was doing a lot of sitting, talking with people that were coming to visit rather than laying down. yeah, I think that pushed that over the edge. So I've had to touch base with the pelvic floor physio to kind of help with that. And obviously like how long I was pushing for and then the use of the vacuum. Totally. caused that. But yeah, I I should have just been a little kinder to myself in the first few weeks, stayed in bed a lot more, especially because I had the vacuum assisted delivery, but I just, didn't even cross my mind. I was in a little oxytocin bubble. I felt so good. Yeah. I felt like I could do anything. then, yes, probably wasn't the case. should have laid down that bit more. Yeah. But like, was like, I've heard, you know, other people, including midwives say that like, well, I guess I don't know what it's like in Queensland now, but at least in Victoria, like where especially, well, I think mostly when you have your first baby, the Victorian government has paid for these beautiful little nappy bags with like these little items in it, like a little onesie and a little book. and a little first aid pack and like, I don't know what the true value of this whole thing would be, but it's all materialistic. It would be so much better if you could say here's a $200 voucher for a pelvic floor physio or something, or like an osteo. Like, it's just, it's just like, you know, and I've worked in aged care and, you know, the amount of like, elderly women that have incontinence issues and sure like incontinence might be, you know, something with old age and whatnot, but like, just shouldn't be happening like to that extent, I don't think and I feel like a lot of it will be because the more recent history of birth where you know, you're having like these, you know, I mean, even in even when Women are having births at home. Like it doesn't matter. Like if you've been pushing for like a particular amount of time, like there's too much for your body or your baby's a bit bigger or I mean, so many different things can play a role in it. Like, yeah, you've been carrying a baby on the public floor has been like paying for that. So it makes sense. does. But yeah, I wish they'd talked more about that like yeah as a risk factor from especially because was vaccine assisted But it was never really touched on whatever reason I didn't ever think about it. I thought no I'm fine and yeah But yeah, that was the one thing that I wish I'd felt a little bit more of letting my body rest and maybe I would have had a few more weeks of healing that wasn't till about six weeks that I started seeing the physio Wow, yeah, and she said it's the first 12 weeks is where you see the most healing so realistically from you know Even when I first came home, some light pelvic floor exercise would have done me a world of good. But I just didn't know to focus on it. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, the most amazing part is, is that you did recognize that, something's not quite right here. And you actually did seek help. I've definitely seen on Facebook groups, like mums that are saying that they're months and months postpartum and they're, you know, wedding themselves and they've just heard that that's not meant to be normal. So like the fact that you were able to, you knew where to go. That's pretty good. And my midwives been great for that. Of course. did touch on it in labor. not in labor, in pregnancy. In pregnancy, I actually did see the pelvic floor physio anyway, which was helpful because I knew where to go, but purely because I hadn't actually had an overactive pelvic floor. So yeah, she helped with a bit of exercise and things for that. So I obviously knew where to go. But I just didn't really realize it was going to be a problem like it was. Otherwise, first 12 weeks, so lovely. I was so grateful the breastfeeding just kind of worked. He was just so hungry from the get-go. He was trying to find it. day in hospital, he started crying. I picked him up and he latched himself on. And the midwife was like, he hasn't latched his things. Yeah. He's real. Yeah, he was just like. He was so content and he's not changed. He's hungry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so beautiful. Is there anything that we haven't talked about that you feel like we we need to talk about or that anything that you wanted to say? Maybe just like if you have the home birth transfer, if there's any stresses around that checking in with your partners, because I think my partner really struggled with it. The car trip for him, I think he really clung on to that for the first couple of weeks, but that for him was very stressful. And I don't think, because he doesn't work in the medical field, he only really learnt what I taught him. I don't think he really understood that like we were both safe, but we were transferring some extra help. I think he was thinking like we were in trouble already and that's why we were transferring. so for him, I think it was a really stressful drive. And I was, course, in Labourland just loving my life in the back. Yeah, not telling him anything and like being spaced out. So for him, it was really stressful. And I think it's the first couple of weeks that played with him a lot. So I think if your partner is struggling to bond or anything from that, which I might have been this first couple of weeks is that that might be helpful that they might need a chance to debrief, which I don't know if we often do enough for partners. Yeah, that's a really, really good point. And yeah, I guess I would love to also say to you and to anybody that is listening who has transferred that like, know, home birth is more than just giving birth at home. Like people that choose to home birth, it's because you have certain values, right? And like those values don't change going into hospital if anything, it makes you like. I don't think bravery is the right word, but like the courage that you have to have, I imagine to be like, well, shit, I actually do need to go to hospital and it's not a failure. Like you're using the hospital for the things that it has. And like the reality is sometimes you need the hospital. Like that's just, that's life. So yeah. I hope that you do like connect with like the community up there and yeah, same goes to anybody that's listening. But thank you so, so much for sharing your story. That's okay. Thank you for having me.