Homebirth at 17 years old & becoming a homebirth midwife - chatting with Abbey the midwife from Western Australia

In this month midwife story episode, I chat with the amazing Abbey who is a midwife in Western Australia. The story to how Abbey found homebirth for her own 2 children is amazing, and as she goes on, you can tell, she was destined to be a homebirth midwife. She shares her journey to midwifery and homebirth midwifery. What a special story, I felt so amazed to hear it!! 

Connect with me, Elsie, the host :)

www.birthingathome.com.au

@birthingathome_apodcast

birthingathome.apodcast@gmail.com

Transcript

0:02

Hi everyone, welcome to Birthing at Home, a podcast. I'm Elsie, your host. I'm a home birth mom of two little boys. I'm a mental health nurse, the co -creator of Home Birth Victoria, and I'm a Melbourne based doula. If you want to learn more about me, the podcast, all my work, check out www.birthingathome .com .au. And before we begin today, I would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri people who are the traditional custodians of the land I'm recording on in Nam, Melbourne, Australia. I would also like to acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people have been birthing at home on country for tens of thousands of years prior to the British invasion and acknowledge that sovereignty has never been ceded. In this month's midwife story episode, I chat with the amazing Abby, who is a midwife in Western Australia. The story to how Abby found home birth for her own two children is amazing. And as she goes on, you can tell she was destined to be a home birth midwife. She shares her journey to midwifery and home birth midwifery and such a special story. I felt so amazed to hear it and I hope you enjoy it too. Please make sure to share it with your midwife and student midwife friends, especially enjoy. Welcome Abby to birthing at home a podcast. Hi, thanks for having me. Thank you for joining me. everyone, this is Abby and she's going to be August's midwife story episode. So Abby, if you can give a bit of background about. who you are, where you live, that kind of thing. That would be awesome. Yeah, for sure. Thanks for having, like I said, thanks for having me, but it's super nice to be asked, you know? Yeah, of course. So I am, I live in Perth in WA in Freemantle. And I guess my midwifery story started when I was pregnant and 17. Wow. And I was seven months pregnant. I had had no antenatal care because my GP just thought I was going to have a termination. Wow. Didn't offer anything. And I hadn't told many people that I was having a baby. I was just kind of getting fat, know? And about seven months, my mom came on board because it was really tough for her. know, parents have high hopes, high expectations. Yeah. so young is often not one of them. Yeah. So yeah, my parents were amazing once they had time to process, which I really understand. Of course. Yeah. My mom walked me into a small hospital just nearby. was called Woodside and it was like a 1950s building and it had brown carpet and it smelled awful. She was like, this is where you're going to give birth. Like this is your local maternity hospital. And I remember walking up the steps and into the hospital and there was this woman sitting to the right of me behind like, like a window and she didn't open the window or say hello or anything. She just had the vibe of. You don't want to talk to me. Like she didn't want to talk to me. And she was very clear that she didn't want me to talk to her. And I just turned on my feet and walked out and just burst into tears and just went, I don't know. I don't know where I'm having a baby, but it's not here. and my mom being my mom and me being, you know, seven months pregnant, I didn't have many clothes that fit. she was like, go do a girl shop, you know? so we went to this gorgeous clothing store in Freo that doesn't exist anymore. And these two women were sitting there, manning inverted commas, the shop. And they were breastfeeding and my mom got chatting to them as she did and still does. And then, I don't know how, but I cut my heel. Maybe I wasn't wearing a shoe. No, I must've taken my shoes off to try on clothes. And I cut my heel on their broken mirror. they're like, so they sat me down because I was seven months pregnant. They're probably fearful of litigation. Yeah, of course. In this time of me sitting there and then giving me a drink of water and just making sure I was okay, they started talking about their births and they'd had home births. they were like, what? my gosh, are the chances? Both of them had, and both were just looking so at peace and happy. Their babies were probably like five months and seven months old. So was super fresh in them. Yeah. And they said, you should check it out. Like. It's just down near the Tradewinds Hotel in East Friro and there's like a little child health nurse building and they're there on a Wednesday morning between like nine and 11. I was like, okay, that sounds pretty terrifying purely because I had to think about birth, but it sounded like disruption than what I was faced with. And my mom, bless her cotton socks, she'd had a really traumatic birth with me. And she never had more kids afterwards because - yeah. And she was like, you should check this out, you know, anyway, so we wandered down there on one of the Wednesdays where I was probably closer to eight months pregnant at that point. Yeah. And there were these two women sitting there, like a, North English woman, North UK woman who was probably 55, but she felt so old to me. She was meant to be one of my mentors. Wow. And then there's other woman who was probably about 30. And I just looked at her and I went, my gosh, I feel so safe with you. You don't even have to talk. I just know you're my person. Wow. What a contrast. I know, right? And so I went home and I told my partner and he was like, you what? Like the cost of home birth was six times his weekly earnings. Wow. Just like, how the hell are we going to do this? And I said, I don't care. We're just going to do it. It's happening. There's no choice. I have birthed my baby and this is the way. Yes, I think I saw her maybe three times in my pregnancy. I know that if I'd gone through the hospital system, I would have had a very different birth purely because of his position and he was totally out of my pelvis at 40 weeks. Back in that time, it was a... a caesarian, you know, they thought they were going to fit. Yeah. anyway, she goes, well, if your waters break, just give me a call. Because, you know, sometimes some cord can fall out and we just need to know about these things. And of course, 40 weeks and two days at 4am, my waters broke all over my bed. I reckon all 1 .2 litres of it. Wow. And she wandered over with a migraine. And she was like, it'll be days, just go back to bed. anyway, so everyone went back to bed and I thought, Hmm, not so sure this going back to bed thing's going to be an option. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone was sleeping and, then my partner woke up and he came and hung out with me. I don't really know what he was doing because I was just in my zone. Yeah. probably 10 past nine in the morning, my mom woke up because we'd all been up in the middle of the night with the midwife and she heard me going, the shower and she was like, you know, wanders over when Sam's head is pretty much out and in my mom's pink bath and she came just at the right time to help me navigate the birth of this child. Yeah. Into my arms. And I remember sitting there in this pink bath, just going, are damn cute, but wow, births amazing. And why didn't I know this before, you know? Yeah. my gosh. What year was this? 94. Wow. my gosh. And so you're 17 and you're having a home birth. Yep. Wow. Abby, that's incredible. Holy moly. So yeah, obviously a life -changing experience, you know? Yeah. my goodness. yeah, cause like, my gosh, because as a young woman, yeah, you're just so influenced usually by like the system, the adult, like the adults around, the other adults around you and so easily like get pushed on this sort of like, you know, conveyor medical maternity system, but to be 17 and to be like, nah, this is not it. There must be another way. like the, like, wow, that's like, that's kind of freaky that you came across home birth because of that chance encounter. Like, wow. It's crazy. And I just was there with him. placenta wasn't even out and I was like, my gosh, that's what I have to do with my life. Yeah. Yeah. That is in a nutshell, pretty short and a long nutshell. my gosh. how many kids do you have? I have two. So my daughter was born five years later in a small town in the Southwest of WA with a, a midwife on the community midwifery program down there. was just one midwife and she didn't have anyone else backing her up. yeah, yeah, that was just a beautiful, ordinary birth, you know, in the way. Yeah. Yeah. my goodness. So you had, so had you started midwifery in between them or after you had your second baby? I had started nursing because you had to do nursing and then of course, yeah. was three and a half years of nursing, which I started when my son was, cause I, I didn't do my university entrance in high school cause I was not enjoying high school. Yeah. finished high school, but I was pregnant sitting my year 11, I was in the year 11, my maths exam waiting for my period going, what the hell is going on right Wow. Wow. So yeah, I did a university entrance in when he was three, I think, and then went to uni when he was three and a half. And then I had my daughter and then I continued to study. I went back to uni when she was five weeks old. Wow. And my partner was incredible. He would come along, we'd drive. all the way to Albany, which is a town 50 kilometers away. And he would, she would have a breastfeed and then he'd go for a walk with her around like the beaches and stuff. And then, I would hear this little cry coming down the corridor and get that full on let down feeling my breasts away. Please let me feed a child. Yes. my gosh. Yeah. So then we were, so I could, to frame and also I could do my mid down there. Yeah. Yeah. And so what year did you start midwifery? I think now, I think 2002. I can't remember exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Years of being a midwife now. Yeah. Just pausing here to thank the August sponsor for the podcast. Mama Goodness is a mom owned business based in Melbourne, founded by life after birth authors, Jessica Prescott and Vaughan Geary. Mama Goodness' goals are to nourish and nurture moms through motherhood. They create plant powered, i .e. vegan, organic and naturopathic formulated products to support women through pregnancy, postpartum and beyond. Their lactation cookies are highly rated. There is also a gluten free option, but they also sell lactation tea and granola. So if you're looking for a tasty treat for yourself or a gift for someone, check out Mama Goodness online now at www .mammagoodness .com .au. And thanks so much to Mama Goodness for supporting this month's podcast episodes. what was your pathway into like, cause you're a home birth midwife now. Have you always been a home birth midwife? So that was always my goal. And again, was just circumstance that got me there or coincidence or serendipity or whatever you want to call it. daughter's dad was working for a theater company, Barking Gakko theater company and his boss. Her sister was a home birth midwife in private practice. And he was talking about me and saying, Abby really wants to do this. And, is your sister looking for someone to mentor? And, she was, so I w I did my year at King Eddie, the tertiary hospital in Perth. And then I did six months as a grad program. Yeah. Then was Sally took me on board. for a year and I also kept working in the hospital at the same time. Yep. my gosh. Wow. You were, you were, it was written in your destiny to be a midwife. That's crazy, right? Yeah. my gosh. and so, yeah, so basically you've been a home birth midwife like the whole, the entire time. I haven't done just that. Yeah. Like I, my latest gig with the government was putting in place midwifery group practices in the Southwest of WA. wow. Managing those four teams. Yeah. While having kind of repeat clients as worked. Yeah. I've not done home birth, but I've done it in and around. so I'm like, I've worked on the community midwifery program here, which is a free government service for home Yeah. Eight years in my early days, like I did private practice and then my mentor was like, you're getting good experience out here, but go really learn the low risk normal. so they know what's not normal, which was the best advice she could give me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. my gosh. And so what was it like to be a home birth midwife with like two, two little kids or, you know, be, yeah, even studying midwifery with two little kids. Yeah, I guess the studying of mid is really different now to what it was because the CCA is now, think, run risk of burnout with the study load. Yeah, totally. Student midwives drop out because you're inspired by your birth and you're like, my gosh, I really want to be a midwife. And then you've got these young children and you go study and study never goes away from your brain. Yeah. And then as well, and they'd never go from your brain space either. So. Yeah. That's really tough. Whereas my student year, and it was only one year then, was a placement essentially at King Edward, paid placement of three days. What? And then one day of uni. my gosh. Yeah, it was so different. So on birth suite, you would have a buddy with you, but on the post, you would be working on your own. Wow. my gosh. It's so different. It feels like. Yeah, because they, think from next year, they're going to start offering, like paid placements. I think that is that there's going to like, not everyone's going to be able to access that. think, isn't it, I feel like there's going to be like a income test or something weird. Maybe. I can't answer. Cause I know that, in the Southwest, in the small country towns, they're bringing that in place to keep the. women who are local that want to be midwives. I'm sorry to the guys out there that want to be midwives. I mean them as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In their local towns. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause that was such a big, like, yeah, factor. Like when I, yeah. I mean, even when I was doing nerd, like nursing, like, yeah, I mean, I did the dual degree in nursing and midwifery. So you had four years to do both, like, like, I can't even remember how many hundreds of hours it was plus like all of your, your continuity of care experiences. And then I did my 10 experiences and then they said, there's too much time between your 10th and when you finish. So you have to do another one. And so I did 11 and like, no wonder I burnt myself out. Like, it just wasn't sustainable. And then, yeah, it's like, you're also working, you're also having to like, yeah, pay your rent, pay your food. And I mean, it's worse now because of like the cost of living is so, high, even like, yeah, compared to 10 years ago when I was at uni, but, yeah, like they, and at least what, cause I studied on the sunshine coast in Queensland and, At the time there was only sort of one like major public hospital where all of the student midwives would be sent. There was some like private ones. Now there's like a major like hospital there and so maybe that makes it a bit better. But otherwise you would be like sent like to flippin' whoop whoop because there was too many student midwives and like not enough maternity wards. And like you weren't allowed to do home like Yeah. We weren't allowed to attend home births. So we would be like fighting or not fighting, but you know, it would be, yeah, like, I want to say a competition, but like you would be needing to get these births. You would have to be partaking in these births to pass. Like, and if you didn't, then that was very stressful because you knew then you would have to do more days of your placement to make up for trying to get the births. It was, yeah, it was very stressful. The birth is just the catch. Like I remember being shoved in because I was low on my catches inverted commas until the last probably six weeks of finishing my degree, my midwifery. So I'd be doing night shifts to get thrown into rooms to literally just put my hands on like put baseball, catch a base and take it off. And I haven't done any care for this woman. don't even know any name. And then catch the baby and then get whisked into another room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure I'm learning anything here. Yeah. Really that useful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. That I just haven't babies, which is beautiful and lovely. yeah, it's it's not it's not a learning experience. It's just a cow moment where you're like, my gosh, all this pressure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And when when I hear stories of Yeah, like women giving birth and like them looking up and being like, my gosh, there's so many people in the room. Like there's so many students. I'm like, yeah, that's because as a student, you're told get in, get in there because if you don't get in there, you don't pass. Like it's the, the system, matter which way you look at it is just weird. It's not like set up to really support. I don't know who, who is it actually supporting? I don't know. Imagine being that woman and having like this student whisked in just as your baby's head is crowning. She's just got to your baby and then she's not going to be here again. You don't even know what to Like, it's an odd, it's odd. But I also is odd. Yeah. There are, when I was a student as well, there wasn't, there was only the one big hospital doing the one big hospital like you, your experience. So the pressure was high and there wasn't enough. Yeah. births for the students, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you also had to, you know, witness a certain amount of, complex care or whatever. so anytime somebody was having a C -section, you'd be like, I want to go, please let me go. And you'd be like taking turns, like who cares? Who's allowed to go to the C -section? there's a force that's happening. Yeah. Gotta tick that off. Yeah. woman at all, which no, it's great. There's continue of care experiences or CCS that really is the connection with the woman and realizing there is a woman on the other side of this baby coming out. Yeah. It's high stress. It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. What like over the past, you know, 20 or so years, what do you like, can you think of like what the biggest differences might be in like the midwifery home birth kind of space. Like, because I've spoken to quite a few home birth midwives and I guess there's been some like major things like when, you know, in terms of like, state registration and insurance and like this 5 ,000 hours and stuff. But from your perspective, what do you think like have been the the biggest changes or the most impactful changes? don't know. think, I feel like, so when I was first in home birth, the midwife I was mentored by did a lot of Baybacks at home for vaginal birth after Cesar. Yeah. And there, it was very much blacklisted by the obstetric teams. So she decided to be overt or very outward about her decision to support women to home birth after a cesarean. And she didn't send, like she would send her referral into the hospital and say, letting you know this woman's planning to birth at home. and I'm supporting it and you're her backup hospital. And I feel like there was a real, I using this term, but I can't think of a different word. Like she was being, It was like a witch hunt, I guess. Like everyone was looking for her to stuff up or for something to go wrong. So that she wouldn't her finger pointed at her because there was no process for a midwife to support a woman who wasn't low risk anymore. I feel like the ACMI, the Stradham College of Midwifery consultation and referral guidelines that really sets out low risk, moderate risk, high risk, some of the moderate risk you kind of roll your eyes at. Cause it's not, yeah, anyway. That's the story. We could be here for hours. Totally. But the Appendix B enables a midwife, which is to provide care to a woman who falls outside of what an obstetrician or maybe even another midwife would consider safe for home or appropriate for home. Yeah. Yeah. That woman is super committed to her choices and she's very aware of the risks and the benefits and the considerations. And the Appendix B keeps the midwife safe, I guess, in providing this care to her and also means that she doesn't have to withdraw care from the woman if she, the midwife, is comfortable to continue providing care. So I feel like that's for me. And while I don't use the Appendix B very often, there are times when it has been appropriate to do that. And all this woman, one in particular thinking of would have gotten out of free birth. I'm not anti -free birth. However, I feel really sad that the system is such that women feel forced that free birth is their only option. know? Yeah. That, that devastates me. And this whole insurance thing that's about to be potentially pushed through, I hope to, with all my fingers and toes crossed that it doesn't because it Yeah. Like I had a beautiful birth just yesterday and this couple initially considered free birth. And they were low risk for all intensive purposes and their birth was, I'm really glad I was there and they're really glad I was there. It was a positive outcome, but if they'd free birthed, yeah, it's very questionable if it would have been. And I just think, That will be a sad state of affairs. Sorry. I've gone on a bit of a rant. Yeah. No, but a hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree. Yeah. Like, yeah, I mean, you can always free birth, like free birth isn't going away. I mean, it's legal. So, you know, that can always happen, but like it is really sad to hear stories where Yeah. Women have wanted midwifery care and especially through like the publicly funded models have, you know, been like, okay, well, I can't afford a midwife because that is a huge barrier. so I'm going to go through this publicly funded model and then like 36 weeks or something, then they're like, well, actually no. Or the opposite where, you know, it's like I, know of a mom at the moment where the hospital just stuffed her around for weeks and weeks and weeks. And we're like, you'd be a perfect candidate. You'd be a perfect candidate. And then like six referrals later, then they're like, the program's full. We can't offer you it anymore. And she's like, well, you've you've sold this idea to me now. And like now I am going to free birth because like why now I know what I know. Why would I want to have a hospital birth where I don't have any continuity? Like I may as well just give free birth a go, but like that's not what she wanted initially. And I think that's, that's yeah, that's really sad. That's not, that's not right. And yeah, I, yeah, I Yeah. I hate to think like I want to be positive and optimistic, but at the same time, I think, yeah, we do have to be careful because if, if the right, if when, yeah, not being listened to, I mean the, yeah, the government will just do what, whatever they think is best. And they're not the ones that are having home births. They're not the ones that are going to be affected by this and the repercussions like down the line as well. Like, It's not just here now in 2024 that it's going to have an impact. It's going to continue to have an impact. Yeah. And our children's children. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what's your favourite part of being a midwife? I think it's just falling in love with the families, you know? And being... welcomed, I guess, into their homes. Like every appointment is in their house, you get to know their kids and their parents, you know, where they choose to let you in, those who feel comfortable to tell their parents they're having a home birth. Yeah, of course. yeah, it's just and their partners and then you go through this really intensely beautiful, sometimes really tough and challenging, sometimes really confronting and traumatic experience with this family to welcome their little one into the world. then the six weeks afterwards and sometimes longer if need be to help process or work through or breastfeeding or whatever, but to get to a place of peace as much as you can. And sometimes that peace isn't found until the next baby. And then when you're welcomed into that next baby world for the, I guess, the healing of that tough birth or the celebrating of the beautiful first birth and that now becomes an ordinary second birth, like my experience personally. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you, it's like that oxytocin for labor and birth and breastfeeding. You need that from your midwife too, right? Like you need to be love in the room. And I really feel that like all of my clients, I could say I fall in love with and you know, they just become part of my being, I guess. And at six weeks, it's always lovely to say goodbye and say, you guys are amazing and thank you for having me and I hope to see you again. Yeah. But yeah, it's, definitely that bit of connection. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm, yeah, I mean that that's, yeah, the benefit of continuity is because you, yeah, you become like invested in these people's lives. You know, like the intimate details about, you know, their values and what they want and their history and like how hard they've worked to get to that point. Like, and you know, you can see like what their future is going to be like, right? Yeah, that's beautiful. Have you, I only just thought of this question, so it's okay if you don't know, but have you like in the past, you know, 20 years or whatever. Obviously there's been a lot of changes in studying midwifery and whatnot. Have you done like any like training or something, you know, to further your learning or understanding that's really been like. like pivotal in your career as a midwife. I haven't done any training as such, like you're constantly learning, I think pictures of other women, know? Yeah. Absolutely. Do you still sometimes see, like experience births that like you kind of like, I wasn't expecting that or like that was a surprise or I haven't seen that for a while or things like that, like things that catch you by surprise? I think every birth is a miracle. still, every time a woman is pregnant, I'm like, I know rationally how happens. I know that it happens. I see it happen over and over, but it's like trying to fit through the eye of a needle, right? Like, does this magic happen inside? And suddenly there's a baby in her arms. Like, don't know. It's that sounds a bit naive, but it's not meant to. It's just, no, Never. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Thank you so much for chatting with me. is there anything that we haven't chatted about that you think might be beneficial for other midwives, student midwives out there like wanting to venture into home birth someday? I don't know. think something to know is that to be a backup with a private midwife at home births, you just need near net or resource. You don't need insurance. And I think if midwifery and home birth is where your heart is just because it's a big challenge to get there. you can still find a midwife to be mentored by and, and be that backup for her. Once you finished your study, to get exposure and get the learnings, like you don't be defeated is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. think that's yeah. A really important thing to say actually. and I think, like, yeah, especially when I was a student, at least like I wasn't aware of that. but yeah, I think that's, that's amazing. And especially because there are so many midwives like yourself with so much experience. yeah, what a valuable, yeah, resource and, experience to have. also remember that you have something to offer, you know, that you, you have eyes and, a curiosity and a passion that is new and. The questions you ask will cause those of us who have been doing it for a long time to think differently and question ourselves. And that's really healthy. Like that's how we stay fresh and vibrant, right? So. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you so, so much, Abby. No, you're so welcome. Thanks for having me. Of course. See ya.