First time dad supporting freebirth || Sean's experience supporting birth at home (Victoria)

As a part of the partners supporting birth at home series, today we hear Sean’s story of the birth of his baby girl who his partner Bronnie (who was in episode 39) freebirthed! Sean chats with us about his journey as a chiropractor to learning of birth at home.  It was amazing to hear how unconditionally Sean trusted in Bronnie, her body and their baby. 
Be sure to share this ep far and wide to help other partners find this great and persepctive of supporting birth at home. 

• Bronnie's birth of Abigail (Abi) https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/birthing-at-home-a-podcast/id1705684880?i=1000656833927
• Freebirth Society Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/free-birth-society/id1231912533

Learn more about me, my offers as a doula & the podcast here: https://www.birthingathome.com.au

Transcript

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You're listening to Birthing at Home, a podcast. I'm Elsie, your host. I recorded this episode on unceded Wurundjeri land in Nam, Melbourne, Australia, where Aboriginal peoples had been birthing at home on country for thousands of years prior to the British invasion. They are the original storytellers. If you want to learn more about me, the podcast or how I can support you in achieving your home birth, be sure to check out my Instagram at birthingathome.com. underscore our podcast. This is another episode in the partner supporting birth at home series and today we hear Sean's story of the birth of his baby girl who his partner Bronnie who was in episode 39 free birthed. Sean chats with us about his journey as a chiropractor to learning of birth at home. I personally had a preconceived idea that he would have had an idea of physiological childbirth as a chiro but that is not the case. It was amazing to hear how unconditionally Sean trusted in Bronnie, her body and their baby. Enjoy. Welcome Sean to Birthing at Home, a podcast. G'day. Thank you for joining me tonight, Sean. As a part of the partners who support home birth and free birth, birth at home little series that I have. Do you want to give a bit of background to who you are and where you live? Kind of thing? Yeah. So thanks for having me on. yeah, my name is Sean. I live in Melbourne, in South Morang. we're actually in Plenty at the moment. and I am a chiropractor. So I've got my practice, in South Morang. actually located in, one of the gyms, down there. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. And you're the partner of Bronnie who we just shared on the podcast, the story of your beautiful baby girl's free birth. And so Bronnie was a first time mom and you're a first time dad. how old is - Yes, so very much enjoying every second at the moment. Yeah. How old is, Abby or Abigail now? Yeah. she just turned four months, a couple of days ago. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. I guess to get like straight into it, you know, especially because you're a chiropractor growing up as, you know, like a young boy, like, What did you know of like pregnancy, birth, like women's health? Like, I don't know. Absolutely nothing. Like the less than nothing. Yeah. Even, even going through my education at uni, like it's a five year course and we cover so much anatomy and physiology and biology and like pretty much everything. And until we started going down the... like learning everything for getting pregnant and then going through the pregnancy and everything for the birth. I didn't even know that you had to birth a placenta. whoa. Like, and I've been through all this education in like anatomy and biology. Wow. I knew nothing about that. my goodness. my goodness. What led you because like, I feel like, like being a chiropractor, you sort of have. a more maybe holistic sort of natural mind approach. Like, how did you come to choose, you know, that pathway? Like, is that is that something that was already in your value system? Hmm. Yeah. We definitely grew up with like never taking medications and like never rushing to the doctors or hospitals for anything. It was always like, you'd be right. Like, Yeah, suck it up sort of thing. Yeah. I knew I wanted to get into something in like sport, fitness, rehab, like something like that. Yeah. And I had a great uncle who was a chiropractor. So I just thought why not I'll do that. Not really knowing the whole like holistic thing. Yeah. And then yeah, once. So the course at the moment, now is very similar to like osteo and physio and it's, they just teach you basically everything to know about the body. And then you can kind of take it how you want to go once you graduate. but yes, once graduating, so I've been practicing for 10 years now. Yeah. yeah. So definitely look at the body from a holistic perspective. basically if you give the body the, the right environment. So through healthy movement and healthy stimulation to the body and the brain, the right building blocks in the way of nutrition and avoiding poisoning the body through toxins in the environment, then the body's going to function the way it was designed to do. So I felt like. Everything I had looked into originally was not for the birth and not really so much for pregnancy, but was for preparing us to get pregnant. That was just where my brain was at. So for a couple of years before we were even planning, so the plan was to have the wedding and get pregnant soon after. So yeah, for a good two years, we knew that's what we wanted to do and we were doing everything we could to, we were already eating very well. I've been doing a lot of nutrition programs and help a lot of people in the clinic with eating habits and all that sort of thing. So then the focus became more about eliminating the environmental toxins. So I think Bron went into a bit of that on the podcast last time. One of the things for me more specifically, not having my mobile phone in my pocket, Yeah. Because yeah, there's like a fair bit of research that shows that when you have those electromagnetic frequencies close, then that's going to affect your sperm count and sperm motility and those sorts of things. Definitely increasing healthy fats. So cod liver oil and like your vitamin D and vitamin A in cod liver oil, the EPA and DHA was absolutely essential. That was one of the first supplements that Bron was taking and myself as well. Yeah. So yeah, real focus on getting to the pregnancy. Yeah. That hadn't really considered anything to do with the actual birth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And look, I'd only even experienced maybe a couple of times in my life going and seeing someone after having a baby in a hospital. Yeah. And it always felt weird. It just didn't seem like the right environment for that sort of thing. And also being a chiropractor, like there's that whole thing where we're trying to get people off medications and avoiding surgery. So totally anti -medicine usually like I totally appreciate in an emergency situation, like that's where you need to be. Yeah. Yeah. For health. Yeah. And for. Yeah. When the body works, like it doesn't make sense. So like. So you've like focused a lot on pregnancy and hadn't really thought about it. birth. So do you remember like the first time you sort of heard about birthing a baby at home? Yeah. So home birth was something on my radar. My, the two other chiropractors that I work with, one of them is a, she has a focus on pediatrics. Yeah, cool. And they have three girls and she home birthed all of them. Wow. She's also a part of the Australian Breastfeeding Association as well. So it has a lot to do with that. And she sees lots of kids and pregnant women in the clinic and things like that. And I would just always kind of send them her way. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, and you knew that that was definitely something that could be done. And I was like, that would be ideal, of course, but didn't really know much about it. Yeah. So yeah, we were originally looking at what the options were as far as having a midwife there or like a birthkeeper or a doula. So again, new terms, birthkeeper and doula. I'd never heard of these things. Yeah. I remember probably the first time Bron had been looking at, I think maybe Tay's way. I remember her showing me a video of a woman at the beach and she was like, you know, three or four meters into the water and was like giving birth in the water there. And I was like, that's amazing. Like that's, yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. So we didn't straight away jump to that, but obviously that was then a consideration. Yeah. So I think the Free Birth Society, so we'd been listening to their podcasts. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I think Bron had like gone back and listened to like every single episode. But as each week the new episodes came out, we were listening to them together. And it's just really interesting to hear the main thing I found that they discuss is the limitations of the medical system. It actually, it became really apparent that there was kind of a story, every person that was on there. pretty much had the same story. So if they had three children, the first child would be a standard hospital birth. They would be at home, everything would be going smoothly, and then they'd get rushed into the hospital. And all of a sudden, the brain is like, this is not a familiar safe space. I've got bright lights and noises, people I don't know everywhere. And it shuts everything down. And then all of a sudden it's like, okay, you're not... progressing. So we're going to give you the synthetic oxytocin, the pitocin, and then that leads to other complications and progresses to an epidural and then to a cystic area. And it was a really common story that you hear over and over. And so then the second child that would go, well, I'm doing a home birth. I don't want to have that experience again. And they would have a midwife, but then we know that, and especially with my job being a car as well, I know that with the systems that are in place with your insurance and things, you've got to follow like certain rules and things. Yeah. Yeah. So midwives in the house, even at your home, they have to follow the same guidelines and recommendations and things that they would in the hospital. Yeah. And even like, I guess, like touching on that just very, very briefly is that like that's something that I came to learn. later as well that like not all midwives are created equally, you know, like there's them, there's, you know, midwives that, you know, like, especially with the, you know, obviously we're both in Melbourne, like in the area, there's going to be these publicly funded home birth programs, which is amazing, but they're so tightly like held. It's like, I mean, it's amazing to get a free home birth. If you, if you can follow their rules, but they have so many rules and then, you know, there's obviously midwives. They've got to follow those regulations. Yeah. And then there's midwives that, you know, work more independently, but then if they're a part of like a group of midwives, they might have their own business or organisational like kind of boundaries and criteria. And then there's, you know, more independent midwives and it's just like you. Yes. I think that's awesome that you, you kind of like bypassed all of that. Yeah. Yep. And so the, the free birth, the third child that they'd all choose for a free birth for the last one. So, yeah. And then we did buy the course. I think Bron mentioned as well. and I feel like a lot of the information was, similar to what we'd gone through. listening to so many episodes. But it definitely made me feel very confident in knowing what would happen if you went into the hospital and were in that system and have a really good understanding of really what you didn't want. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Just pausing here, everyone, to thank the June sponsor of the podcast, which is Earthy Birth. If there is one thing that has been missing from the home birth scene, it is aesthetically pleasing birth pools. until now. Earthy Birth is a small family owned business and they're proud to offer professional quality off -white birth pools made from thick eco PVC and are designed for 40 plus uses. That's a lot of home births guys. They also offer stunning disposable floor length liners uniquely designed so that they protect the whole pool and that they don't slip off into the pool. Not only that, the liners come with optional artistic designs printed on the base to make your birth space even more beautiful. Earthy Birth also stocks plenty of other home birth supplies such as hoses, tap adapters, pumps, robozos, birth combs, fairy lights and much more, all in gorgeous earthy tones. They offer both purchase and hire with free shipping Australia wide for all orders over $50. Visit earthybirth .com .au today. Thanks so much, Earthy Birth and enjoy the rest of this episode everybody. Did you have any like... I mean, commonly when I talk to partners or, you know, hear stories from women about, you know, family and stuff, it's all about fears and like, you know, they had to overcome this fear or work past this fear or address this, you know, concern. Were there any particular things, especially, you know, supporting Bron as a first time mum to have a free birth and, you know, you being one of the people present, like did you have any concerns or like particular questions about anything about it? Yeah, I feel we were very lucky both being on the same page for like pretty much everything. As soon as she said that that's what she wanted to do, I was like, yeah, that sounds amazing. I am 100 % on board. Absolutely trust the body to do what it's designed to do if given the right environment. So pretty much everything we then plan to do was to give her the right environment. And so the body could do what it needed to do. I don't feel like I had any real fears. We just, you know, we went and got one blood test just to make sure like iron and B vitamins and thyroid and all those things were, you know, at the right amounts and functioning well. And they were, so we were like, more confident that, yeah, her body would be able to handle it. And yeah. I think she made it very easy for me because she was so confident through the whole thing. So I think you just had to trust. Yeah. The woman's body, it's designed for that. And yeah, yeah. She made it very easy for me not to have any fears really. Yeah, that's amazing. And like, I guess the transition to... Like fatherhood, you know, and as you know, the pregnancy progresses and like labor and birth become more imminent. Did you have like any, like any particular feelings or like things that came up for you that you had to sort of work through? so that they also, you know, wouldn't be in like as a sort of background worry, like whilst you're, you know, trying to be fully present for Bronnie. Yeah, I feel like we just, as long as I had a plan in place for like what I needed to do during that day. Yeah. So we talked about it every day for 12 months before it happened. So we both knew exactly what the expectations were. We wrote out the plan for the other two girls that were here with us together. So then I knew what the expectations were from them. Yeah. And we were talking about, all right, what do we want on the day? And that's funny because we had, I think she did mention as well, we had a list of things like we made like a heavy metal baby playlist that she could listen to if she was feeling like in a heavy sort of mood. And then we had like a chilled playlist as well. And we're like, these are the scents we're going to use. And yeah, like we didn't even put the music on because everything happened so quick. So quick. Yeah. And then, and she was like, those things are not even important. now that this is happening, like she was totally inwards with that. Yeah. But I think definitely, for me, the knowledge helps and we did so much. So like we did that course, we were also reading. So we read like the Nourishing Traditions book and that was where a lot of the nutrition on like animal products and the cut liver oil and having liver. A lot of that sort of information came from. Yeah. We read the Montessori baby talk as well. And then actually, I think the thing that probably helped the most, like every day Bron sent me somebody else's birth video. So I feel like I've watched more births through birth videos than probably most people in Australia because every day she was like, check out this birth. And I think just from that experience of watching so many, it gives you a really good idea of what's normal. Yeah. So certain situations that like if you'd watched someone else's birth and it took, you know, a minute or two minutes for baby to start making noises and yeah, that was really stressful to watch. Yeah. But then knowing that that's a normal variation and that's possible and definitely helped make me feel a lot more comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, my, my advice would be start watching birth videos. Yeah, absolutely. Even, talking to a GP as a part of like home birth Victoria this morning. and she was, I mean, this was about like home birth attended by a midwife specifically, but you know, she was talking about, you know, the fact that in the media, it's, they're always sharing like terrible stories and they high part, please. Terrible, terrible stories. And I think, I see sometimes like people post in Facebook groups and stuff and like searching like, has anybody got like a, birth video, to share that I find at least personally that Instagram has been such a powerful resource. in finding birth videos and sure, sometimes they're very edited and, you know, 20 hours is edited down to a couple of minutes. But there's amazing people like putting amazing things up. I'm not sure if you saw it. It's quite controversial, but there was a lady in America somewhere. and she live streamed her entire free birth on Instagram. Yeah. that's totally not something that I would ever feel comfortable doing. but like, just like that's powerful. Like some people won't have ever seen a birth and here you are here as a completely normal physiological birth. you know, surrounded by her loved ones, but like no medical professional there. Like, yeah. So I totally agree. Birth videos are very, very powerful. And so, well, I think, yeah, you go. Instagram was where, the majority of the birth video is the, I watched and Ron showed me with her Instagram. And then she did. find I don't know if you on YouTube. On YouTube. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. and it's kind of funny because I'm just trying to like read back on my little notes here. I don't actually think I've written it down, but we know that if you've listened to Bronnie's episode, which is episode 38, that it was a very quick birth. So like, Do you want to walk us through how you perceived that whole experience from your perspective? Mm -hmm. so I worked in the morning. Yeah. and it's, it's funny because like a week, maybe two weeks earlier, and she like woke me up in the middle of the night and was like, I have this, this like pain that I'm feeling, this like cramping and stuff. And. I don't know, just something in me. I was like, that's nothing. Like you're, you're fine. and didn't even really like start preparing or worrying or anything. I went straight back to sleep. Yeah. and, but that day, I thought the last person that I actually saw in the clinic, she rang me in the morning and she was like, I am like 40 weeks. and I need this baby out of me. And she's like, can you do some acupuncture just to help speed things up? And I was like, look, I don't typically do that. But I was like, you know, I know the points and I'm like, why not? Let's give it a go. Yeah. So ironically, the last thing I did was acupuncture to bring on a laborer at like 12 o 'clock. Yeah. Come home and yeah, Bron was like, I'm Yeah, I've had some, some cramping and stuff this morning. And I was, my first question is always, is it, sporadic or has it been like consistent over a certain time? And she's like, yeah, no, it's been like pretty consistent. I was like, okay, let's just keep an eye on that. And, cooked up some lunch and yeah, within like halfway through lunch, she's putting her ball down and she's like breathing heavy. And I'm like, are you okay? I got out my phone and she was like, kind of pacing around and like sitting on a Swiss ball and stuff. And I was like, filming her and I'm like, what's going on, darling? Yeah. And she was like, no, it's fine. It's nothing. It's fine. It's all right. And so I quickly rang, rang work and said, yeah, like, I just knew it was it was happening. Yeah. So I had no idea how long we were gonna have, I assumed it would be longer, but I was like, I am just gonna rush and start getting everything ready. So I wanted to dim everything. So I was like grabbing. We've got some blinds that don't cover a couple of windows. So the sun was like shining in. So I've got like a newspaper and I'm trying to like tape it up over the windows to like make it dimmer. I've got like a sheet. I went and grabbed like a doona cover and was like covering one window. And then we had a couple of tubs ready to go. So I grabbed those and they had just like towels and some things to like squeeze for like pain relief and had like a tans machine. But while I was trying to do all that, she was like, having contractions and was like, I need pressure on my hips. So it feels like five minutes of time, the first minute and a half, I'm like putting pressure on my hips and then I'm like rushing off. And I was trying to, the main thing I was trying to get the birth pool set up. I didn't know where I put the tap. So I had the hose and I was like, how am I going to connect it to the thing? I knew I had it somewhere. And it was just literally in the box in like the cupboard in the bathroom. So I found that after a bit. and had the water going. Yeah. And then we went and got some fruit and some food and we actually timed it really well because she'd like just had lunch. So she was like well fed and hydrated and everything. But yeah, just quickly like chopped up some fruit and had it there just in case she just wanted to nibble on stuff. Yeah. And then we tried the I don't know if she mentioned it, but we tried the the TENS machine. So we put the electrodes on her lower back and literally just one contraction. she had them on and then that's when she decided she wanted to get in the shower. So I've gone to take them off and because they're still running, I haven't turned the thing off. So I've grabbed them both with my thumbs. I'm like, I'm like getting zapped on the thumbs. My hands are like contracting. So I quickly throw them down and like whisk her off into the shower. And yeah, so that lasted a whole of 10 seconds because that was when yeah, it really ramped up. And then yeah, the birth pool was like mostly full at that point. So we got it back into that. quite quickly. And I think that whole area, I was just too like doing things to even process or be stressed or whatever. I was smiling through the whole thing. But yeah, literally, I once she was in the water, I just like got in behind her. And I was like the biggest grin on my face the whole time. I was just so excited. I'm like, this is amazing. This is incredible. So the other thing was, I was rushing to get the cameras set up because we did actually film. We had like three camera angles and filmed the entire thing. Yeah. Wow. So at some point we'll have to go through and cut that up so you can have a look. Yeah. So Bron was incredible through that whole process. Just so in the zone during the contractions. And then she would just like snap out and be like talking or whatever. And. Yeah. I had just like a wet cloth that I was just like putting on the back of her neck and shoulders and that. And then I was just early on, I was actually trying to put quite a bit of pressure just onto the hips, just for pain relief, more through like the glutes and like piriformis region, kind of like getting under the sacrum. Yeah. But then as she progressed more and more through it, I was like, I just want the body to do what it does naturally. And I was really just kind of resting my hands there, just like letting her know that I was there. And then, it must've been maybe like five contractions before the end. And she was like, feel this, like something is right there. And then I was like, yeah, that's hair. That's a hairy head. Yeah. So yeah, incredible. And then she was just breathing and she was saying she can like feel the movement kind of coming back in a little bit. And I was like, yep, that's, that's great. We know that that's just, you know, her starting to turn and getting to the right position and everything. Yeah. Yeah. So a couple more contractions and yeah. So cause I was behind her and she, Bron was hands and knees forward. Yeah. So yeah, Abby, head and I think left, left arm. that's right. Yeah. And she opened her eyes straight away, like in the water. And because her arm was out and like floating there, it just looked like she was waving at me. Yeah, it was incredible. And we did actually get that on camera as well. Yeah. Well, it's just really cool. Like it's amazing to rewatch that. Like, incredible. Yeah. and then, yeah, next contraction, the rest of a shot out. Yeah. Yeah. I just wanted to get a straight up on bronze chest as quick as possible. So I just kind of guided her forward and then, yeah, Bron brought her up to the front and I was just kind of checking, the court and just seeing the position of that. And it was just like around one leg and we just kind of moved that and that was fine. But yeah, she was like the second she was out, she was looking around and. Yeah. Yeah, making little noises and it was incredible. I had completely forgotten to even check the gender at this point. I was just so excited. So then Bron was like, do you want to check? And yeah, so a little girl, she's incredible. Yeah, the whole time we were like preparing ourselves mentally for a boy. Yeah, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bron was so dead set that it was going to be a boy the whole time. So, yeah. And she was always like, he, you know, he blah, blah. He all the way through. And I was like, yeah, well, she blah, blah, blah. I'm trying to like, I'm like, if it's a girl, I've been calling her boy the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And yeah, like it just so like even like after Abby's born, like in those initial moments, You know, like whilst, you know, her head's still under the water and you know, she's way sort of waving at you and stuff. Did you have any like concerns or you just felt chill and relaxed and like excited and like, holy crap, it's actually happening. Like, this is it. Yeah, I was just totally in awe of the process and excited. There was no point where I felt any stress about any of it. Yeah. Yeah, just. I think I just trusted that Bron had it. Yeah. Yeah. She was all over it. She was just so amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And I can't quite remember the birth of the placenta. Like, how long did that take roughly? Yeah. So that, it was only maybe five minutes after where the placenta just another contraction and it was out. But yeah, as she was saying, it still had one attachment point that was actually quite firmly attached still. And we were like, that's fine. We're just going to let the hormones change and that will release on its own. And we were planning on leaving the cord attached until it was drained anyway. The only annoying thing was we had to stay in the birth pool at that time because we didn't want to get up and then... accidentally like rip the placenta off. So yeah, we just got some sterilized scissors and a bowl. And after about an hour, I think we're probably in there, yeah, nearly an hour, maybe like 50 minutes in the water still just waiting and admiring our new daughter. Yeah. And then yeah, cut the cord and like use the the cord tie and, and that was it. So then we're like, look, it's, it's getting a bit chilly in here. We really want to get, Abby out and, you know, somewhere warm and get, somewhere comfortable. so then I took Abby and literally as soon as I took her, she just like, Macronium all over my stomach. And then I had a little bit of like blood on my chest from like cutting the cord as well. And, so. That picture of you. Yeah. So I was like, there's a picture of me just like the biggest smile on my face, like poop all down one side, blood on the other side. Like just so excited. So then we got Bron comfortable with Abby and then I, we'd actually, so like, I just love anatomy. And the placenta was incredible. So I went and got that and we'd actually watched a video of someone. analyzing it and pulling it apart and going through and being like, you know, he's where the two arteries are. Yeah. He's where the vein is. He's like the case where the baby's actually inside and he's where it's attached. Yeah. So I basically replayed that video. I got the placenta, I took it out into the kitchen and I was like, everybody come have a look at this amazing thing. I'm going to show you the whole thing. So I walked outside, just covered in. fluid. Yeah. It was like, check this out. Yeah. Imagine if like somebody came over and then you'd be like, just carpet and all of that. Yeah. Like, my God, somebody call the police. Yeah. Exactly. that's amazing. Like, yeah, how incredible. Like I just, I mean, that's how birth should be. And like, as I've reflected before, like the longest episodes I record for the podcast. Other ones that, I mean, obviously have the news, there's more births, but the hospital births always are so complicated, so much drama, so much intervention. and so it's just like very refreshing to have, you know, a bit of faith restored that like, you can choose to free birth, your first baby as first time parents. and. It can be, can be, completely normal, boring, beautiful, amazing. And like, that can just be it. It doesn't have to be like this big dramatized, you know, situation. yeah, it gives me faith. It gives me, you know, it stores faith in me that like, maybe one day things can be different. That's amazing. Yeah. No, I'm so proud of Bronn. Like, She was just incredible through the whole thing. And yeah, especially through the birth and afterwards. And yeah, parenthood has been the best thing ever in my life. And we're loving every second of it. Abby is just, yeah, the most precious thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing all of that, Sean. Did you have like any last words that you really wanted to let other dads know out there who might be listening, who might be like, you know, might have been made to listen to this by their partners if they're choosing or considering home birth or free birth. Yeah, I think just trust, trust the, you know, the body, you know, knows what it's doing and trust the woman's intuition and talk about everything. So know what the expectations are, you know, from each of you and. yeah, watch, watch a ton of births. Yeah. That's brilliant. Thank you so much.