In episode 26, Shelby from Western Australia shares her amazing freebirth with her first baby, Hawk - she is also planning her second freebirth for early-mid 2024! You don't come across a lot of freebirth stories as a first time mum - so this is such a beautiful story to add to teh collection of women taking back their power and autonomy in birth --- it also highlights problems with the maternity system, as Shelby initially did want birth support!
Links to people/business/resources for this episode:
CHAPTERS
00:31
Shelby's Decision to Free Birth
01:23
Background and Family
03:10
Choosing Home Birth
04:09
Difficulty Finding a Midwife
05:06
Scans and Tests
06:30
Ash's Reservations
07:51
Ambulance Cover
08:45
Engagement with Medical Tests
09:43
Positive Scan Experience
11:34
Birth Education
12:57
Becoming a Doula
13:57
Finding a Doula
14:46
Doula Support for Ash
16:38
Reactions from Family and Friends
18:35
Impact on Younger Generation
19:33
Working Through Fears and Concerns
20:04
Preparing Physically and Mentally
22:18
Estimated Due Date
23:42
Birth Timing and Holidays
24:40
Physical Preparation
26:02
Hot Springs and Pregnancy
27:30
Listening to Your Body
28:58
Exercise and Nutrition During Pregnancy
30:53
Different Rules for Pregnancy and Labor
32:17
Signs of Labor
34:13
Doula Availability
35:11
Preparing for Labor
37:29
The Birth of Hawk
40:23
The Halo Hour
48:48
The Placenta
49:19
Postpartum Experience
51:24
Preparing for the Second Birth
53:43
Looking Forward to the Second Free Birth
In episode 26, Shelby from Western Australia shares her amazing freebirth with her first baby, Hawk - she is also planning her second freebirth for early-mid 2024! You don't come across a lot of freebirth stories as a first time mum - so this is such a beautiful story to add to teh collection of women taking back their power and autonomy in birth --- it also highlights problems with the maternity system, as Shelby initially did want birth support!
Links to people/business/resources for this episode:
CHAPTERS
00:31
Shelby's Decision to Free Birth
01:23
Background and Family
03:10
Choosing Home Birth
04:09
Difficulty Finding a Midwife
05:06
Scans and Tests
06:30
Ash's Reservations
07:51
Ambulance Cover
08:45
Engagement with Medical Tests
09:43
Positive Scan Experience
11:34
Birth Education
12:57
Becoming a Doula
13:57
Finding a Doula
14:46
Doula Support for Ash
16:38
Reactions from Family and Friends
18:35
Impact on Younger Generation
19:33
Working Through Fears and Concerns
20:04
Preparing Physically and Mentally
22:18
Estimated Due Date
23:42
Birth Timing and Holidays
24:40
Physical Preparation
26:02
Hot Springs and Pregnancy
27:30
Listening to Your Body
28:58
Exercise and Nutrition During Pregnancy
30:53
Different Rules for Pregnancy and Labor
32:17
Signs of Labor
34:13
Doula Availability
35:11
Preparing for Labor
37:29
The Birth of Hawk
40:23
The Halo Hour
48:48
The Placenta
49:19
Postpartum Experience
51:24
Preparing for the Second Birth
53:43
Looking Forward to the Second Free Birth
Hi, welcome to Birthing at Home, a podcast. I'm Elsie, your host. I'm a home birth mom of two little boys. I'm a mental health nurse, a home birth advocate broadly, but also more specifically in the state of Victoria, and I'm an ex -student midwife. Before we begin, I would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri people who are the traditional custodians of the land I'm recording on in Melbourne, Australia. I would also like to acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples who have been birthing at home. country for tens of thousands of years prior to the British invasion and acknowledged that sovereignty has never been ceded. This is episode 26 and is shared by Shelby, a yoga teacher and birthkeeper from Western Australia. Shelby had always planned to have a home birth supported by midwives but the universe had other plans. When she wasn't able to find a midwife to support her over the New Year's period when she guessed she would be birthing baby Hawk she ended up choosing to free birth. a decision that she has also chosen with her current pregnancy. In this episode, we also talk about doing what feels right in your pregnancy and the power of a positive birth experience. If you're enjoying the podcast, please rate and review it as it very much helps other women, partners and birth workers find it. Enjoy. Welcome, Shelby, to Birthing at Home, a podcast. Thank you, Elsie. Happy to be here. We've been having some internet troubles, everybody, but Shelby is joining us all the way from Western Australia. So perhaps that's to be somewhat expected. Shelby, do you want to give a little bit of background? Do you want to give a little bit of a background about who you are, who's in your family? Yeah. So I'm obviously from WA, I'm from Perth. I'm 30 years old, just about to turn 31 and my family so far is a husband and a one year old and we are expecting our second child in three months -ish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, amazing. And we were just also discussing that Hawk, your first baby just turned one. Yes. Yeah, his birthday was on New Year's Eve. So very special time. Yeah. Yeah, amazing. And so you had a free birth with Hawk, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. How did you like, find out about free birth? Because like most women don't even know about home birth, like with a midwife, especially first time around. So I'm so curious how you like came across free birth. Yeah, well, it kind of all goes back to how I met my husband because we met in the middle of the whole COVID mandating jab to work thing. And we were very much against that. So that's how we connected. We were brought into each other's fields and well. of like everybody who was on that side of the fence, you just lose faith in the medical system. So yeah, when we got together, we basically had the chat straight away that we want family, we want a big family, we want community, we want land, blah, blah, blah. And then six weeks after we met, we got engaged. And then four months after that, we got pregnant. Yeah. And it was always going to be a home birth. Which I think I've always had that in my mind in the back of it somewhere. It's always been like that home birth was my jam, you know, that's just what I'm going to do. And then when I got pregnant, obviously, did you know anybody that had had a home birth? I was connected with a wonderful group of women throughout my pregnancy who were all doing a home birth or a free birth. Um, but that came a little bit later once I had decided to do a free birth as well. Um, other than that, no, everyone had been, it's, yeah, everyone from the top of my head right now, everyone was a hospital birth. Um, even, yeah, yeah. Even when I told my mom about, cause we were living with them at the time about having my baby in her lounge room, she, I was like, you won't be able to do it. It's too hard. It's not called labor for nothing. You know, like it was just that sort of mentality. And I'm a very strong -willed person. So I don't give a shit what you say. So yeah, when I got pregnant, I was about 12 weeks and I contacted a doula. I knew I wanted a doula. And... she asked, do you have a midwife? And I was like, no, I'm in the process of doing that now. And yeah, 12 weeks is 12 weeks too late to get a home birth midwife. So I reached out to I think four and I either didn't get a response or because it was around year's time, they were on holiday or they were too busy. Yeah. And that. kind of just left me with no choice. I was like, well, I guess I just won't have a midwife then. Is that a thing? Is that allowed? And I said that to my doula. I was like, what do I do? And she was like, well, you can have a free birth. Yeah. Oh, okay. I guess that's what I'm doing because I can't get a midwife. And it didn't occur to me like that was a problem. It was just like, you're pregnant, you get a midwife. That's the package deal in my mind back then. And then through, throughout my pregnancy, throughout all the work I was doing and researching and learning about what was happening to my body. I was like, I don't need a midwife. Like, who needs a midwife? So I was very determined, read all the books, did all the online courses. And my husband was so busy working because he had just started his own business. So he was so busy that he kind of just left it up to me. He was like, whatever. kind of trust you, kind of don't, but I'm too busy to care right now. Like, yeah, yeah. I'll leave you to it then. Yeah, basically. Yeah. So yeah, that's kind of how I came to free birthing. Had no other choice. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And what's your husband's name? His name is Ash. Ash. And so did Ash have like any particular reservations around free birth as opposed to like birthing at home with like a medical professional present? Yeah, it's kind of funny. Like before we got pregnant, he was like, you're giving birth out in the wild in the bush. We're going out bush for camping. And I was like, no, no, not for the first one. Yeah. Yeah. Stay at home. Thanks. And then, yeah, when I got pregnant and was like, no. there's not going to be a midwife. He was very a bit a bit worried on the worried side. And, you know, what if something goes wrong? You know, you need someone there. And that's when I just said, well, I've got I will get ambulance insurance. Like, I'm happy to do that as a safe piece of mind. And he was happy enough for that as well. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And so because each state is a little bit different, but obviously in Western Australia, you have to pay like separately for ambulance cover. Is that right? You can. Yeah, that's what I did. It could be a part of your health insurance, but we don't have private. Well, I don't have private health. I just think it was like 50 or 60 dollars for a year for ambulance cover. So yeah, yeah, that'll do. Yeah, yeah. And obviously, like in most pregnancies, especially women who are engaging with like the hospital system, you know, there's like scams and tests and things like that. But usually when people or women are having a free birth, you know, there's not so much engagement with those tests. and things like that. Did you choose to have any scans or any tests? I would have loved to have a wild pregnancy and same with this one. But my husband needed that clarification that everything was fine. Like it's one less thing that he needs to worry about. And you know, because my intuition, my body, my mind, I knew everything was fine. Body was made for this. Yada yada yada. Like I was like, it's all good, but my word wasn't enough. He needed to outsource his reassurance. And I understand it from his point of view, but if we have, well, when we have another baby, it's definitely going to be my way. So I did end up getting one scan. I've had one scan for each of my pregnancies, but this recent scan, I went somewhere different. because the first place was just like really cold energy, like medicalised, just like a hospital sort of, it made me feel so uncomfortable. And the sonographer was, I'm sure it's just what everyone does, but they were just getting in there pretty vigorously and my baby was trying to hide and run away from it. And I felt like he was, um, Yeah, just really uncomfortable inside of me and I was uncomfortable there. In the same breath, it was nice to see him on the screen. We didn't know he was a boy, but we do now. It was nice to see him. That, I will admit, was like, oh, cute. And I think it was good for Ash to become more connected as well. So I don't fully regret it, although I would do it differently. And then this time I went... to a nice place that had nice lighting and plants inside and it was dark and it was so nice and the sonographer was beautiful and I just said to her, look, I just want like five minutes tops. Like I just want you to, you know, check all the limbs, check all the organs, check the umbilical cord, the placenta placement and that's it. And she was just like, okay. I suppose. and it was under five minutes and she was really thorough and really beautiful about it, that really receptive to what I wanted. And that was a nice experience. Yeah. Yeah, right. And you mentioned that you did some birth education. Was there anything like specific that you both did or you did yourself? I did the free birth society course. And then I did another home birth course that these American sisters that I've been following for a while online, they created and brought out this course while I was pregnant. So my sister and I were like, oh, let's do it. So I did that. And then, yeah, cool. That were the only courses I did. Other than that, I just, I read so many books and listened to the podcast. and then looked into becoming a doula myself. So I went down that road as well. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. So before you became pregnant with Hawk that because yeah, obviously I know that you're a doula now, but that was what kind of inspired you to. go on that path. Yeah, yeah, I just had such an amazing experience with my doula and my pregnancy. It was and then you just become so much more attached to women in general. And in awe of women in general with what they're capable of, we are capable of. And I yeah, I just gave me passion, like before. Before coming into this line of work or before coming a mother, I had a very low passion drive for anything I was doing. And then, yeah, since giving birth, it was like, wow, finally, I know exactly what I want to do. I know where I'm meant to be. So, yeah, the whole experience was just phenomenal. Yeah. And how did you find your doula? Did you just find them on social media or was it word of mouth? Yeah, social media, because I was living and working down south, like near the Margaret River region and knew of this woman and I was following her on Instagram. By the time I was pregnant, I moved two hours away, but I still reached out to her and I was like, I would love you. I'd understand if you can't make it because it's far, but she accepted. And then I just did the two hour drive quite a lot because we did a little course together, like a... crafting, mama's crafting course together. And yeah, and that's where I met this other group of women who were all home birthing or free birthing. And yeah, she was, she was, yeah, very open to the drive. But yeah, spoiler alert, she didn't actually make it to the birth. So she had, she had another friend, she had another friend that I knew, I knew. Yeah, she came to the birth instead. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And how often did you meet with the doula during your pregnancy with Hulk? Well, we did a few online meetings, obviously, because of the travel. So, yeah, of course. Over 10, I would say. And then, then our birth craft course with the mums, that was six weeks, once a week for six weeks. So I had a really good connection with her. Yeah, we became really good friends and really close. So, yeah, I've definitely tried to bring that into my offerings as well with my clients. Yeah, of course. And was there opportunity as well for Ash to work through any fears or questions that he had with Yodhula? Yeah, they had at least one, possibly two private sessions. And because she has done, she's done a lot of work being able to hold space and release fears and trauma and things like that. which Ash has a lot from his own birth. So that was really good. I think I chose the right Dula for us for that time. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he still has his fears as we all do. But yeah, he was very happy with her as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's amazing. And, you know, when you're kind of sharing details with family and friends or, you know, colleagues and whatnot was like, what was the response kind of like? You can probably imagine. Yeah, I'm from, I'm not from, but I have been a dancer for like my whole life. So I've got a nice group of dancing. girls that I'm friends with and we're all, I think we're all moms now, we're all like married with kids and like we're adults now. And when I told them, they were all like, oh, of course you're having a home birth. I wouldn't expect anything else. So they were cool about it. My, I think my family was just, yeah, like I said before, my mom was like, it's so painful. Like you won't be able to hack it. I don't want a dead body on my floor and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. There was, of course, when you tell people I'm having a free birth, what? Yeah. Midwife. It's like, yeah, what of it? It didn't faze me at all. So, yeah, anyone. I was just proud of it before I even did it. I was just proud that I was like willing to do to go against the narrative. I think I have this like. personality trait where it's, yeah, I'm just proud when I go against the grain and I need to let people know about it. Yeah. Yeah. But I think that's also amazing because like, yeah, like even if people don't agree or don't see that as a pathway or journey for them to take, at least they're still hearing about it because so many women, don't even know like home birth is like even a thing or you know free birth even is a thing. So I still think that's like. I literally yesterday had a couple of younger cousins come over they were 14 and 12, 11 or 12 or something and the boy is the younger one and we were talking I was like because we were eating a part of Hawke's birthday cake and I was like yeah this is from his birthday from last year and. Exactly a year ago from that date, I gave birth to him in that room right there. And the boy was like, what? You did it here? Was there an ambulance here at least? Yeah. I was like, no, why would there need to be an ambulance? Well, well, well, because, you know, I was like, well, it's not an emergency. I just gave birth. So, yeah, it's just being calm in those sort of reactions. It's like, Yeah, trying to change the young generation, their narrative of what birth should be like. And I'm really glad that he had that reaction so that I could have my reaction to it and hopefully plant a little seed in his mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always love when, like, you hear or read stories. I mean, I love it in like a humorous way, like people say, oh, like, I have to get to the hospital. Like I have, I got to go to the hospital, like have my baby. And it's like, your baby is coming, whether you're at the hospital or not. Like it does not matter if you're inside the hospital, outside the hospital, the baby will be coming. Don't you worry. Yeah. Wow. And did you have any particular fears or concerns that you had to, you know, put a bit more effort into working through? Honestly, none. Um, amazing. Yeah. I think, I think you always have a bit of fear. Like you go into it with a little bit of fear and, um, which is just like natural fear. You know, what if something, what if something happens to my baby is the main fear that we all have. Um, but it wasn't anything more than that. It was just a fleeting moment of it in my mind. And then it went out of my mind and I, didn't play on it at all. I didn't let it overcome the rest of what I was feeling. I would say like this pregnancy, I'm thinking about things that could go wrong more, but which is weird. I find that weird. Like the more you know, the worse it is, I suppose. Yeah, yeah. But again, it's not, you know, like I'm not like not going to change anything. I wouldn't change anything. And it's not going to make me do it. Yeah. Do anything different. It's just I'm just more conscious of it, I guess, because of more I've done more work and I've. Yeah. And you probably heard more stories now as well. And being able to share your story, people then add their two cents in and. Yeah, I mean, that's like why I started the podcast is because like I wanted to hear I wanted to put out there more positive birthing at home where the home birth or free birth stories because there's so many stories out there that have like so much drama attached to them from engaging usually with the medical system. And I think that's like just so amazing. like this path that you took. And so you had that scan. Did you like, I guess, did you have a sense of when Hawk, you know, obviously not knowing that Hawk would be Hawk, but like when Hawk would be, I guess, Jew about? Yeah, I was telling everyone New Year's. Yeah, knowing it would actually New Year's. I just thought, you know, it could be Christmas could be. I think the full moon was on the 6th of January. So in my mind, it was like going to be the 6th of January. But New Year's is just a really easy, relevant time. Everyone can accept that answer. You know, like it's not a difficult date to think about. Yeah. And when I had the scan, there were. three different dates on the different photos. Like, obviously they take measurements and they, yeah. And then one was like, to be honest, their dates were more accurate than my 6th of January. So I have to give them credit there, but I still wasn't going by that. I was like, nah, it's going to be, it's going to be January. But yeah, it wasn't. Did you, you know, that's quite amazing that he was born on New Year's Eve. Did you have like any extra stress around like the Christmas period and like, you know, I guess that's like one of the perks of not engaging with a midwife is that you don't have to worry about like somebody being on holidays, really. Yeah, yeah. Or getting booked in just because. Yeah, everyone's going away and you need to, you need to go in for surgery soon, sooner rather than later. No, not at all. Like at Christmas, I was like, I'm nowhere near ready. Like I'm not big enough. Didn't feel like he was engaged or had dropped. I was just like, I've got at least three weeks to go. And then it was literally a week later. So I was humbled. Yeah. And in the lead up to, you know, going into labor with Hawk, is there anything in particular that you are doing to prepare yourself like physically or mentally, like for labor? I don't think I was doing it intentionally, but we have a steam room in the facilities that like where we at Mum and Dad's place. And yes. You know, pregnant women aren't allowed to be in a steam room or a sauna. Say that with inverted commas. Yeah, yeah. And I was there like at least once a week. Yeah. Which I did this sort of practice before I was pregnant as well. It's not like I just went into something a complete unknown. And I even had a couple of conversations while I was in there, you know, like you shouldn't be in here. You should mind your own business actually. What makes you feel my body better than mine? And so I was doing that. And then I also picked up a little casual job, just working retail, which was like a 35 minute walk to and from. So I was walking a lot and then doing like my my own little yoga stretching routine. Okay. So I was a lot more active in that birth, which kind of scares me for this one. I'm really like thinking right now. Yeah, I was really active. I was really active. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that reminded me. So when I had was pregnant with my first baby, I was really wanting to go to down here in Victoria, like an hour or two from Melbourne is some hot springs and I really wanted to go to the hot springs. And so we had booked and I really wanted a massage as well, but then found out that I was pregnant. I was like, oh, not gonna bite. Nobody's gonna wanna touch me because I'm pregnant. Anyway, I was like, okay, well, we'll still go to, I know, right? We'll still go to, you know, like in the water and stuff. And I had never like heard any other stories about, I just knew like this thing about, you know, pregnant women, like don't go in hot water, don't like shock your body, blah, blah, blah. But like, yeah, like a day or two ago, so this whole time that's been like the thought in my head, like, oh, women are not meant to, you know, like go into like extreme - Put their bodies under stress. Yeah, but the other day I saw somebody post in a free birth group that I'm a part of about, you know, hot springs or, you know, like a sauna type thing. And yeah, I just like the even like the amount of distrust that that puts into like your mind about like, oh, like, I can't even control my temperature. Like, I'm so delicate, like this whole thing is so delicate, like, Oh my gosh, if like the temperature is like three degrees too warm, like maybe something will happen. But then also the flip side, yeah, like the other side is I saw also a pregnant woman doing like a cold plunge. And I was like, that is so crazy that I've seen like two extremes, like so close together. So I just, yeah, like - You've just got to listen to your your body. Like if it's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. But if it feels right. It's Yeah. It's the same with nutrition. Like if you, because I've been plant based for nine years and this pregnancy, I'm looking at my husband eating steak and I'm like, damn, that looks good. You know, and I've started eating eggs. I ate fish one night. Like I'm listening to my body because every pregnancy is different. But yeah, it's exactly the same with nutrition and exercise. Like when you exercise, your heart rate goes up heaps. And it's, you know, when that happens, you're apparently putting your baby under stress. Like, well, I'm supposed to exercise to keep fit and healthy. Yeah. Like, that's what happens when you have a sauna. Like your heart rate goes up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the difference. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, also, like just like, It's not like when you're, you know, I guess there's like so much fear around pregnancy because you know, you have another, you know, being inside you with also a heart rate and heartbeat and heart and whatever. But like outside of pregnancy, like if you get too hot, things still will happen, you know, like, but you, nobody's saying, oh my gosh, don't ever get in a sauna in case you get too hot. Oh my gosh, don't go cold plunging in case this or that. So it's just, yeah, crazy. But yeah, cool. I can't even remember how we really got on that tension. I just really am glad that we spoke about it. Yeah. You just asked if I had done anything in preparation, I think, to prepare. Yeah. Yeah. And I actually told my client to... if she's comfortable to do the steam room thing, because I think it worked for my stretch marks. I didn't get any stretch marks. And then you're putting like you're focusing on your breath and it's good for that. And you're sweating like you sweat in labor. I think it's yeah, I think it's a great outlet. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's like a whole like, yeah, totally as well. Like when you're in labor, like everybody experiences it. differently, but I guess reflecting on my own experience, my heart rate definitely would have been high going through labor, you know, so like it doesn't make sense that like there's one rule for pregnancy, but like there's a different rule for labor. That's yeah. But yeah, basically do whatever you're comfortable with. Yeah. Oh, I mean, if you're if you're in the system, if you're in the system and your heart rate goes high in labor, well, that you're. ready for Gonski's cascade of interventions. Yeah, exactly. Did you have any signs of labor before you actually started labor? Yeah, upon reflection, definitely at the time, no. Yeah, wow. Because it was obviously my first birth. I didn't know what to expect. I was having like the practice contractions, which most people use. the terminology Braxton Hicks, but that really irks me. So I use practice contractions instead. Yeah. I was having them for about a week without knowing that's what they were because, you know, all the movies and the TV shows depicted as if like it's this massive painful thing that you have to go to the hospital and get checked out for. They weren't painful at all. It was just a really nice tightening sensation. And so that was happening. and I didn't realize what it was. And then the lead up to the labor was just very textbook, like lower abdominal period-like pains and going to the toilet for the whole day. And then we were playing cards, my family and I, that night. So this is the 30th of December. And then it was around... nine o 'clock or nine thirty I was like, well, I think I need to go to bed. I need to rest because this feels very different. You know, just you had to had to take a few deep breaths and time out kind of feelings. And then, yeah, got into bed. Yeah. And the clock I was moaning, I was moaning like I cannot keep any sound in. So. And then from there, it was like it was full on. I ended up getting my phone out to time. Yeah, the frequency of them. And it was like they were going for a minute and they were five minutes apart. And I was like, wow, I think that means I'm on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not really sure. Yeah. Yeah. And then I also went to the toilet and there was like the tiniest bit of blood, like a like a dark, dark blood. I was like, oh, that might be my mucus plug. It was all just like very one thing after another. And yeah, it just kind of flowed and it was very natural textbook initiation of labor. Yeah. And so did you always know that your doula wasn't going to be able to come or is that something you only found out when you were in labor? Yeah, that's um... That's something I found out that night. Yeah, okay. She had told me that she's taking on another client. Well, she asked me actually, she said, there's another client who's due when you're due, but her other three babies came weeks earlier. So she's expecting that. I was like, yeah, girl, all good. Don't care. Like, I trust that it'll all work out. Yeah. And anyway, so I started labor at 10 p .m. and at 12 .30 I called, oh, so because Ash had been working that day, obviously. I gave him the book, Down to Earth Birth, because in that book, there's a chapter of potential complications and what to do if they should arise. And I said, look, yeah, you haven't done much research or anything preparation. I just need you to read this chapter. Things are happening. I just need you to spend a good hour and read this. And then we'll see where we're at. Anyway, so I was in bed for a good two hours and I go into the other room where he was reading and he was asleep. Sorry babe, you need to get up. You need to contact Anna. You need to get the pool ready. Like we're on here. Anyway, so we went downstairs and... started to get stuff ready, which, you know, they say to practice doing the pool before you do the pool. Yeah. Which again, we didn't do. So it took a few hours for the pool to get like connected to the right tap and the temperature and a full like it. Yeah. It took about two, two and a half hours for that whole debacle. Yeah. And in the meantime, so he's called My daughter, her name was Anna, and she said, you're shitting me. My other client just went into labor as well and she contacted me first. So I'm going to her. Yeah. Yeah. But she was like, look, I've got a really close friend who I hadn't met before. She's like, I trust her with my life. She's happy to come. And I was like, nah, nah, I need someone that I actually know. And so. another woman called Lily, who I had done the birth craft with and was just a beautiful, soft soul. She's like a fairy. She she ended up coming. So we contacted Anna about like midnight and then Lily rocked up at 4am. Yeah, so there was a big gap of just my husband and I. And that was it wasn't bad. It was just. It was just like a little bit stressful with the whole pool thing and he was getting, trying to get that organized and he was completely sleep deprived and you know, probably going out of his brain like I'm about to become a dad, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm just moaning and groaning on the floor. My sister was in the room next to us thinking that we were having sex because I was just moaning. Oh wow. Yeah, and then. She ended up getting up and taking her dog for a walk because she was like, I can't listen to this. I didn't realise I was in labour. She's like, oh, wow, I can't be here for this. This is this is hectic. Yeah. Yeah. That's how it started. Yeah. And then I think like as soon as the pool had enough water in it for me to get into, I got into it. Yeah. And that was just like instant relief. I could. I could make jokes again. Yeah, it was just a real wonderful time really. Yeah, wow. And so who's in the house at this particular time? Oh, everyone, everyone. Yeah. No, like my dad, my sister, my husband and my doula. Yeah. Wow. And yeah. Wow. And we're using like anything in particular in labor, like in the bath or just the the amazingness of the warm water? Not just the water. I didn't want to be touched at all. Like they were trying to do counter pressure on my back and my hips. I was just. hitting their hands away. My husband tried to turn on the diffuser. I was like, get that shit off. I don't want to smell anything. I don't want to know music. I don't want to listen to anything. I just want everyone to just be quiet and breathe. And that's it. Yeah. That's all you can do. That's all I want you to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was there anything in me? Yeah, because I thought I'd want to be touched and I thought I'd want nice aromas in sounds. But yeah, it was just complete silence. Yeah. Well, in a way, that's like extremely primal. That's like pretty like amazing. Like you could just go and birth in the wild. I could now. Now I know it. Yeah, absolutely. And so we're. your family like apart from you know your husband's were they like kind of present like in the same room as you or they were like in different areas of the house or. Yeah, they were coming in and out throughout the early morning. Yeah. And they, it was getting pretty intense for everyone. So they ended up all, like my husband, not my husband, sorry, my dad, my mom and my sister. Yeah. They all left to go for a walk. Then they came back. Things were still going and they all left to go to the markets. And then they come back. things are still going. And then they left again to go get a coffee. And they said that coffee, if we go back there and she's still in labor, it's way too long. She's in way too much pain. We're taking her to the hospital. And then we came back and the baby was here. Wow. Perfect perfection. Yeah. Do you want to walk us through like, you know, the actual birth of Hope? I would love to. Yeah, it was very uneventful. Yeah. It got to I'm pretty sure like I really need to talk to Lily or Ash about this part because in my mind it got to the bearing down stage, the pushing stage, and I felt like I was pushing for five minutes. It felt like it was so quick. Wow. But the lead up towards that it was. like when the surges were coming on and the waves were hitting, I was like, scream, well, I wasn't screaming. Sorry. I was just like yelling. No, not again. Fuck. Yeah. Oh, I'm so much pain. Yeah. And then the wave left and I, yeah, I could doze. Yeah. I don't know the time of the dozing. Yeah. Yeah. It was beautiful. It was serene. And then. And I, yeah, throughout the labor, I was in the pool, out the pool, in the pool, out the pool. And I was, yeah, being told to move into different direction, positions, which I needed to be told because otherwise I would have just stayed put and that would have definitely prolonged everything. So I was moving around a little bit and then the sun started to come up. the room was getting a bit lighter and I was like, I don't want to do this for another day. Like I understand why women get epidurals. This is fucked. I get it. And then I was like, let's just get back into the water. Like surely this baby's going to be here soon. It's going on way too long. And it was only like 10, 10, 11 hours at this point. Like it wasn't that long. And then... Yeah, and then it got to, um, there, I guess the bearing down and I, I instinctively got into like a runner's lunge and, um, was grunting, bearing down, and then that contraction would finish and I would change legs. And I did that three or four times, I think. And then, um, Oh, and also between within all the labor, I was checking myself internally and feeling the head slowly descend, which was beautiful. Like that was that I think saved me from an external source of help like that. Just feeling that myself was amazing. And every time I did feel like put my fingers inside myself, I brought on a contraction. So it was like a little bit of a battle. Like if I do this, I'm going to be in pain, but every surge is closer to meeting my baby. So I'm going to do it. It's yeah, this is it's fine. And I also had no idea it was a head because I've never felt a head before. Head inside of the vagina before. So when it was the pushing stage, of course, and I was in involuntarily pushing as well as pushing. I was just like, whatever the fuck it is, it's coming out. If it's my cervix, we'll deal with it later. If it's the placenta, the ambulance. My internal organs. And then he, yeah, crowned and I could feel, I had my hand on my perineum and I could feel that it was fully stretched, but it hadn't torn. However, it felt like something had torn and it ended up being my labia just a little bit. And again, I was pushing, I was like, fuck it, whatever's tearing, it's tearing, it's happening. There's no going back. No going back. And then, so my husband was in the pool behind me, watching it all unfold and he's like, head's out, the head's out. I felt his head. And then the next surge was just a fetal ejection reflex and he just flew on out. And then I've got a video, Lily ended up recording this part. I was turning over to sit back down and Ash was giving the baby through to me and he had opened his eyes and his arms were like flapping in the water. He was all alert, which was a... I think that was a real big relief. That was like the first relief. He's active and he's alert. That's awesome. And then I brought him up out of the water and he had the cord. It wasn't like it was like a halter neck. It was just it wasn't wrapped around his neck or anything. But, you know, Ash is like, oh, the cord's around the neck. We've got to get it off from around the neck. And we're just so awkward. Like. With our hands and our movements. Also, this is on the video, is it? Yeah. Yeah. We're just like, what do we do? How do we do it? Yeah. Well, Ash, if you hadn't have fallen asleep reading the book, maybe you'd know. You would know. That's your job. Yeah, that was your job. Yeah. Wow. But yeah, that was all very straightforward. And then eventually, you know, the cord was untangled and I laid back in the, in the pool and put him, saw that he was a boy and I was like, I knew it is of course it's a boy, but it was also a beautiful surprise. And then, yeah, put him on my chest and he started making his little sounds and started suckling at the boob. Like it was all very instinctual and very straight away connection. It was easy. No other word, but it was just easy. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And did so then your like parents and that came back from coffee. And they came back. Yeah. Yeah. And so you were still in the pool at that time. Came back to like a yeah, they came back to a silent house. Wow. I think Ash goes, you better come in here when they walk through the door and then mum comes over and I just look at her and I say, congratulations, you're a grandma. That's so sweet. Yeah, and I think we stayed in the pool for probably 10, 15 minutes before I got out. Yeah. Yeah, and then I got out and then we just had a whole bunch of towels and pillows on the floor and I was leaning against them and we had, so Ash was down on the floor with me and then I had Lily, my sister, my mum on the couch and then had dad in the doorway right in the view of my vagina. That's just spread open because I've still got the placenta inside and he's just trying not to look anywhere. But we spent that hour. the halo hour with my whole family there. Well, not my whole family. I do have two brothers, but they weren't there. But yeah, there was a lot of a lot of love in that room. And I felt like I didn't need to. It didn't need to be just Ash, myself and our baby. Like it was it didn't feel like that halo hour was robbed of us at all. It was just a room full of love and. Yeah. Yeah, it was beautiful. And then after an hour, Lily was like, so it's been an hour. Do you want to try and get the placenta out? And I was like, oh, yeah, fuck, it's been an hour. That went crazy. I didn't even think about it, to be honest. Yeah. And then, yeah, kind of just put the bowl in between my legs, got up on my knees and out it flopped. It was very straightforward. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, in an environment that is calm and full of love, like, yeah, that's just what happens. Hey. Exactly. Why think anything different? Yeah. It shouldn't be any different to that. Yeah, exactly. That's so beautiful. Do you feel like that had a particular impact on, you know, becoming a parent for the first time and, you know, that postpartum period? Oh, absolutely. Like that was another thing that was a fear was the breastfeeding, which I knew I'd be able to produce milk. I wasn't fearful about that. I was fearful about, you know, the amount of mastitis that I'd get and, you know, tongue ties and lip ties that we'd have to release and all of this stuff. And even one of my brothers was like, what if you can't breastfeed? Why would you even say that? Yeah, it's just you don't need to put that fear into a new mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we we didn't have any problems at all. I think I got mastitis once and it was for an afternoon, like four hours. And it was like a really horrible fever and pain and everything. But I knew what to do and I got rid of it. And that was the only time I had mastitis. He. potentially could have a tongue or a lip tie. I wouldn't know because he was fed, like he fed really easily and he put on his weight and his reproductive, not reproductive, what's the word, the digestive system was all working fine. So I didn't have to worry about it all. It was such a beautiful initiation into motherhood. Like there's no other word but ease. It was just such an easeful time. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And I guess, you know, having had such a beautiful, easeful experience, like having or planning a free birth second time around is not really a question, is that right? No. Why would you mess with a good thing? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Why change it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so with this baby, you've also had a scan, is that correct? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything in particular that you think you might do different or like even thinking about labor? Like, I mean, obviously you'll have you'll have filled up a birth pool before. So hopefully, Ash won't have such trouble this time. But is there anything that you know that you'll do different or anything like that? No, I think it's going to be very much stock standard. I'll have a support person there with me and well, Ash isn't like working as hecticly, so he'll be around and a little bit more less sleep deprived, I would hope. So able to because he ended up having a nap on the floor whilst I was in labor. Like he somehow fell asleep and could stay asleep. whilst I was roaring like a lioness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully you can stay alert. Yeah. The whole thing. That would be nice. I know support people need to their rest. I accept that. But from my husband, I would like him to stay awake. Yeah. And then my mum is actually going to be on a world holiday at my birthing time. So she won't. be around to help. So, and when I say help, I mean like cook for me basically. Yeah. Postpartum feeds. Amazing. So I think I'm going to have to reach out to a couple of friends, but other than that, it would just, yeah, like my husband likes cooking. He was beautiful. He was wonderful with my last birth with nurturing me and making sure I was being fed the proper foods and everything. So he, yeah, he's a He's a wonderful postpartum support. And then I'll have my dad to look after Hawk. Should he need to leave or it depends on the time that labour arises and everything. But yeah, not much is going to change. Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your free birth story of Hawk and. Yeah, I'm so excited to read, hopefully on Instagram, about your second free birth in 2024. Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited for it too. Thanks so much for giving me the platform to speak about my story.