In episode 24 Alaura, the partner of Trent who shared his experience of homebirth a few episodes ago, shares with us her birth of baby Arius. As we know, homebirth for first time mums is relatively rare, but through preconception education, Alaura knew homebirth was the best option for her, even when the GP tried to talk her out of it!
All first time mums should hear this beautiful story!
Links to people/business/resources for this episode:
CHAPTERS
02:17
Discovering Home Birth
04:07
Home Birth Options in Perth
06:31
Arranging the Community Midwifery Program
08:48
Encountering Resistance from the GP
10:07
Assigned Midwife and Backup Midwife
11:29
Declining Tests and Takeaways
15:57
Preparing for Birth
19:53
Reactions from Friends and Family
21:37
Involving a Doula
31:32
Early Signs of Labor
38:29
Transition and Vomiting
41:19
Getting in and out of the Pool
49:10
A Unique Birth Experience
51:06
The Birth Process
54:07
The Placenta and Postpartum
01:00:13
Reflections on the First Four Months
01:06:13
Transformation and Empowerment
In episode 24 Alaura, the partner of Trent who shared his experience of homebirth a few episodes ago, shares with us her birth of baby Arius. As we know, homebirth for first time mums is relatively rare, but through preconception education, Alaura knew homebirth was the best option for her, even when the GP tried to talk her out of it!
All first time mums should hear this beautiful story!
Links to people/business/resources for this episode:
CHAPTERS
02:17
Discovering Home Birth
04:07
Home Birth Options in Perth
06:31
Arranging the Community Midwifery Program
08:48
Encountering Resistance from the GP
10:07
Assigned Midwife and Backup Midwife
11:29
Declining Tests and Takeaways
15:57
Preparing for Birth
19:53
Reactions from Friends and Family
21:37
Involving a Doula
31:32
Early Signs of Labor
38:29
Transition and Vomiting
41:19
Getting in and out of the Pool
49:10
A Unique Birth Experience
51:06
The Birth Process
54:07
The Placenta and Postpartum
01:00:13
Reflections on the First Four Months
01:06:13
Transformation and Empowerment
Hi, welcome to Birthing at Home, a podcast. I'm Elsie, your host. I'm a home birth mom of two little boys. I'm a mental health nurse, a home birth advocate broadly, but also more specifically in the state of Victoria, and I'm an ex -student midwife. Before we begin, I would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri people who are the traditional custodians of the land I'm recording on in Melbourne, Australia. I would also like to acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples who have been birthing at home. on country for tens of thousands of years prior to the British invasion and acknowledged that sovereignty has never been ceded. Welcome to episode 24, which is shared by first time mom, Alora, a graphic designer who lives in Perth in Western Australia with her little boy, Arias and her partner, Trent, who shared his partner experience of home birth on the podcast too. Alora explains that her birth experience has strongly influenced her amazing first postpartum, which before you even listen tells you that this is a beautiful story and I know you'll love it. Enjoy. Welcome Alora to the Birthing at Home podcast. Oh, hi. Thanks for having me. Of course. So for the listeners listening to Alora's story today, you might remember Alora from Trent's episode, one of our partner, part of the partner series that I've been doing for the podcast. So it's very cool to be able to hear the other side of the story. Allora, do you want to give a little bit of an overview about who you are, where you live, who's in your family kind of thing? Yeah, absolutely. So my name's Allora. I'm 31 years old. I live in Perth with my partner Trent and our little son, Arius. He was born... Uh, nearly four months ago, he's four months on Christmas day. So that's exciting. Um, we also have our two little cats, Althea and Para, who are just as much our babies as ours. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's awesome. I'm a graphic designer. I have my own small business that I run from home, like a design studio. Uh, Trent does his martial arts, which he talked about in his episode. He is also like. in a management position at work and then Arius is just chilling as a baby. Baby life. Yeah, baby life. Yeah, nice. So I guess going back to whenever, do you remember the first time you ever heard about home birth? So I've always been aware that it existed, but I feel like specifically, more of a how to say, not for our people, if that makes sense. It's like a very sort of traditional thing that I'm trying to think of the right word, but like more cultural in different parts of the world, you know, if that makes sense. So not so much like a Western thing, which I guess is actually applicable to the state of home building. Yeah. And then as I was going through my journey to conceive, I was reading some books and the home birth thing kept popping up in the book. So I sort of deep dived into it after that. And that's when I really like submerged myself into the idea. Yeah, wow. And like, Yeah, but I just think it's always so amazing talking to other first time moms that chose home birth because the odds are so stacked against you as a first time mom. But that's really cool that you kind of saw the repetition of home birth in different resources. What's like your perception of like home birth accessibility in Perth? So I... After I had figured out or like learned about the home birthing through like the books and stuff that I was reading, I did sort of have a look at what the different options were in Perth for birthing as we had a look at all the different options. So like the public system, the private system, the birth centers. Then I was looking into the home birthing options and just what is accessible in Perth because I was at this point where I was still thinking. it would be good to like can your home birth at home with people that help you, you know? And then so I learn about the private midwives, but then also what we have is the community midwifery program here, which is like government funded. Oh, cool. Wives who will attend the birth for you. So that's what I ended up opting for. The program is quite limited in participants. though, like there's not a lot of positions available for like women, like the program's quite small. So like you have to apply and get approved and the guidelines and everything are quite tight. So yeah, yeah. And like, do you know if, I guess it's not like really a question, like, like, like if you can have a home birth for free, obviously there's pro cons with, with everything, but. Um, yeah, cause otherwise having a private midwife is like upwards of $6 ,000 or so. So that's sort of why I opted for the, um, the community midwifery program. We just weren't in a position to financially afford a private midwife. And, uh, also by the time I was arranging all that sort of stuff, I was a bit like, Oh, I don't know if I have time to actually find somebody. Yeah. which I now sort of realize listening to other people's stories and my own experience somewhere, I probably definitely had time to still find somebody, but yeah, I just wanted to be as out of the system as quickly as possible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Absolutely. I think I asked Trent this, but I think his response was like, Oh, you organized it, but like, how do you, how did you get into the program? Like, do you like get a referral from the GP and you like rock up to the hospital? How does it work? In person? No, so I think it was just in a forum, maybe like mum, mum, one of the mums forums or something. Yeah, they said like, you have to apply on your own, like, will, you know, you just go to the website and download an application form. Yeah. And like they were saying in the comments, you know, they're really busy. They get so many like applications, so you just have to like submit it as soon as possible. So I pretty much did it as soon as I knew I was pregnant. So I was like, I really want to get into this program. So I just downloaded the form, then emailed off to them. They, I think they said that they wanted to just wait till I got to that 12 week point just to, before they actually like put me into like an allocated. date, like, like a confirmed like when the birth was going to be and stuff like that. And he actually like secured my spot. But I got my application in like straight away and, and yeah, yeah, so it was something that I had to organize myself. I did go to the GP to get like a pregnancy confirmation test done just because I was scheduled to have like a fertility test, which is the one where they put like oil through your uterus and stuff. And they had said like, if you you have to do a pregnancy test, like the day before on the day just to check that you're not pregnant, obviously, if they go through with the NUR that would terminate the pregnancy. So I had done the pregnancy test on the Sunday and I was scheduled on the Monday and the test at home was positive. So then I went to the doctor to get the actual blood test done just to confirm it. but canceled the canceled the test of his fertility testing and was like, yeah, actually pregnant. So and when I was at the doctor, he was like, oh, do you want private or public health? And I was like, I'm gonna home birth. And that was the whole thing where he tried to talk me out of it. Really? Oh my gosh. What did he say? Tell me. He was like, oh, he actually pulled the hip. thing on me, like women's hips aren't the same anymore. No! Yeah. What? And I was just sitting there like, I'm not a super confrontational person, but like he was just going on and I was like, oh, just stop. Like, I'm never coming back. What? And yeah, I told him, like, I was like, no, I've already like got my application for the like midwife. program ready and he was like, oh yeah, okay. You know, just, he's like, just be careful. It's really dangerous. Like, yeah. I'll take my chances. Thanks. Yeah. Like I couldn't be any more of a textbook doctor like response. Oh my gosh. That's like rubbish. Absolutely rubbish. And then I found out, um, like not too long after that, that his wife was pregnant. And I was like, oh, I f***. feel for her because I was seeing like he referred me to just see the mid they had like a midwife working in the GP that I was going to. Yeah. So she sort of initially like he referred me to her basically to finish the appointment because he sort of just didn't want to, I suppose, have much more to say to me. Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. And so you you were done with the GP and you got accepted into the program and then like, do you get like automatically, um, I guess assigned a midwife or like, do you get any choice or like, how does that work? So they did automatically assign a midwife just based on like location. So I think I heard someone explain this in another episode from Perth. We have like north of the river and south of the river. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm north of the river. So I had like a midwife who is, she actually lives a suburb away from me, which was really handy. And so they assigned me to her, but they, it does say like, if you finding difficulties, like not getting along with your midwife, you can opt to change and they'll like reassign a different midwife to you. But I was a little bit hesitant, not hesitant, but a bit nervous at first that. I'd get in there and meet her and be like, Oh no, she's like really systemized and you know, like very medical lucked out. Like after, I think we were both sussing each other out in the first, just to see where each other was. And then after that we realized we were very much on the same page and I was really happy with the midwife that I had. So, yeah, that's amazing. And, um, so, Did you just see her throughout your pregnancy or were you introduced to like a second midwife, like the backup midwife or? I only saw her. There was a second backup midwife, but the day that I was supposed to meet her, there was a bit of a mix up and with the appointment time. So I never actually met her until she came to the birth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cool. And like throughout your pregnancy, did you decline any particular tests or? I did. I declined the gestational diabetes test. Yeah. And I also declined the strep test. Yeah, yeah, yeah. GBS. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. And did you like receive any like pushback from it? Like any of those declining or? No. So the midwife I had, like I ended up. figuring out that we were very much on the same page with all that sort of stuff. Cause she was recommending like reading resources that I'd already accessed myself and things like that. And when she's like, she was very much like, there's certain things you have to do to stay on the program. It's like outlined by the government, but she was like, it's pretty BS. And then even with those sort of things, she's like, look, I have to just like offer you and tell you about like, the Judge Station of Diabetes test and things like that, but you don't have to take them and like off the record, I wouldn't do it. And she had recommended the podcasts like Midwives Cauldron and Birth Rebellion and stuff, which I had been listening to already and the episodes on those particular tests. And I just made it up in my mind. Like, I don't want to, you know, cause if I did one and it was positive then. consequence of that is like the home birth kind of get. Yeah, well it's the label. It's not even like, you know, because there's a bit of a, like, yeah, gestational diabetes is the whole thing. But like, there's obviously like a spectrum. If you get the diagnosis, there's obviously kind of like a spectrum of like where you sit on it. But like, yeah, it can just be the label that like derails. everything. Yeah, like that's what I sort of learned was that like and people like different hospitals and everything have different, what's the word? Like cutoffs, like ranges. Yeah, so I was like and I didn't have like there's no history in my family. I had no like red flags or anything like that. So I was like I'm actually probably fine like healthy diet and All the things. So I was like, I feel like I'm fine. I don't really want to like roll the dice on this. I've also like heard and read about how the actual test itself gives a lot of false positives. I'm just not gonna, it's gonna be fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. But that's very cool that, yeah, you were able to make those choices or decision, you know, informed choices because like, Victoria is, well, they say five, but really, it's like four at the moment, we're going to have four publicly funded home birth programs in Victoria, more specifically, like, I guess, like Melbourne and the regions like directly outside of Melbourne. But I've been looking at their criteria. It very much seems like if you decline, you're off the program. And that's just like, Yeah, it's so risky. Like imagine being kicked out of a program at like 30 something weeks. Like that would, that would suck. Yeah, absolutely. And, and the experience, like the experience of that sort of time being on the program, you are sort of waiting for something to crop up. That's just going to like kick you off. You know, you kind of have it in the back of your mind, but I honestly, I've like with the midwife that I had, I felt that. And knowing my own health and history and things like that, I was quite confident that I was going to be okay. And I honestly had a pretty much textbook perfect. Yeah. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. Was fine. Yeah. Yeah. So you said that you'd, you know, been listening to podcasts and you'd already been doing like a lot of your own education. Did you guys like attend any like formal kind of education kind of stuff or? Uh, so we did a hip no birthing course. Uh, that would have been around, I think we started that when I was about 30 weeks. So it was quite late. Um, and then I also did like an online breastfeeding course just cause it was quite important that I wanted to educate myself on breastfeeding. So I have the best possible chance of, uh, successfully doing it, you know, cause all my friends that had babies had all either not even tried or. just had horror stories about endlessly bleeding nipples and things. I like, okay, I really want to be able to breastfeed, so I'm just going to find some sort of information to try and help me. It was really good. It explained, you know, it goes through all the things that they just didn't do in the other hospital courses and stuff about the effects of... epidurals and things like that on baby and how it affects latching and all those sorts of things and the golden hours and that. Yeah. Just having that education, like that information behind me really helped I think with the breastfeeding journey, you know? Yeah, that's like so incredible. I would say you are amongst a very small number of especially first time moms that like engaged in a breastfeeding course like that because yeah, I guess, Similar to birth, well, I don't know if it is similar because there seems to be, there is like a lot of fear about birth, but you know, birth is like a physiological thing. Breastfeeding is a physiological thing. But I think like for a lot of women, like the whole breastfeeding thing, like when it actually, you know, baby's born and you know, like latch and everything. you sometimes don't realize that like, Oh, I got to actually learn this skill. And baby has to learn this skill as well. And it's like, you know, trying to perfect this dance. Like it's not just like latch on and go for your life all the time, you know, it's, is sort of what you. in a way that to believe. Yeah. And then if they also, if they don't just latch on and go for their life, like straight away, then it's not going to work. Yeah. Yeah. But that seems to be the narratives behind it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just, the same thing with the birth stuff. Like once I went, I went through and learned a lot about the birth stuff and how, how like the hospital system has such an effect on it. And then I sort of just put it together in my head. That was like, no, the breastfeeding obviously is like, the same sort of situation. And all the stuff that happens in the hospital with the interventions and things has impact on the breastfeeding. So yeah, I figured that, you know, if I want to do this the proper way that I want to do it, then I need to be educated on both of them. And I knew how good the breast milk is for the baby and not only for baby, but for me as well as the mother. I was like, well, I want the best shot I can at that. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I want to give it. the best try that I can and a bit of a like a type person. All the research and I just have it all and honestly, like even through the actual birth, I feel like my the information that I had gotten for myself played like a pivotal role in helping me through the actual birthing process. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Um, When you're telling your friends and your family and stuff that you have chosen to home birth, did they have a particular response or were they really on board? So most people were a bit, I don't want to say extremely off put. team, but like a lot of people were concerned and like, are you sure it's going to be dangerous? Like it's, you know, all that sort of thing. Which I mostly didn't want to get into like big conversations with you. It's just not worth the time, but I was like, we live five minutes from a hospital. Like if something goes wrong, like we're really close, you know? And you know, there was still some ongoing. conversations if it ever came up with certain family members and things and just stop talking about it. Yeah. And then for myself, because I'm like, I work from home and that so I don't have as many interactions with people outside as Trent did. He had a lot of people at work and things like that that were very much like, it's really dangerous. Just be careful. Like there are these quote unquote horror stories that ended up. just not being that horrific. It was like someone had a home birth and the power cut out. It was like the punchline. Like that was, that was the disastrous thing that happened was that the power went out and we were like, Oh, that was a bit underwhelming. Like sort of waiting for the yeah. So like, we'll be fine if the power goes out. Oh gosh. And then like on Instagram and things like that, I had people sort of message me when I was sharing about it online. being like, don't do it, it's really dangerous. I'm just not even gonna reply. Yeah, it just falls on deaf ears like so much. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm so happy that you didn't let that deter you and... No, it's very determined. Yeah. So... what, like you work from home, did you kind of like put that aside at some point and just try and - did. Yeah. I, uh, I worked up until about the, I worked up until the month that he was born. I had it, I had it in my head in a way that he was going to be early only in the sense that for a while I had been just automatically slash accidentally telling people like the wrong. timeframe. Like I had been like the same sort of timeframe. So it was like, subconsciously, I had this date that he was going to be born, which wasn't his quote unquote due date, that I had been telling people. And I realized I was saying it and it was like a few weeks before the due date. I have to be finished like my work by the time we get to that date. Yeah, maybe that's when he's going to be born. Yeah. And then I was I was confident that he might be born early because you know, first time babies, they're never born on time, but he actually came like bang on his due date. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And so you finished work. Did you do like any particular like preparation in those last few weeks? I really just tried to relax as much as I could and just enjoy the time leading up to it, you know. and just like this free time that I had. I was trying to exercise a bit, because I know that is like good for the pregnancy and in like the labor, I was going for lots of walks, but I had a Lysiatica in the last few weeks. And he had dropped almost like fully engaged about 30 weeks. So. He was very low. So I was having a hard time getting around, getting around. I did start swimming, which was something my wife recommended. So I was just going to the pool, walking as much as I could, and then just really taking it easy after that. And I was also seeing a chiropractor for the sciatica and I had been doing traditional Chinese medicine for most of the pregnancy and for about a year, like going through the conception. stage and everything. So I was just doing those appointments, the walking, relaxing, and just, just getting ready and reading my books and things. So yeah, nice. And did you, you know, often I ask about like, what we're going to do with the other children, but you don't have any other children except for your cats. What did you have any like thoughts about like how like your cats might react? So I hadn't thought about how they would react, which they actually reacted significantly more than I expected them to. But I just had planned to have them at home. We have their indoor cats and we have like our backyard is netted in so they can go outside but they can't get out of the yard. So I was just like, oh, they can just... do whatever they want and be wherever they want to be. Like, yeah. If only you could do that with like a toddler. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd say that I think if we have another, another baby that I would do basically the exact same thing and I would be quite happy for them to be there as well. I've seen a lot of birth videos and things with kids. So yeah, yeah, absolutely. A hundred percent. We had, we actually had our, One of our best friends, like daughters. Yeah, actually. Yeah. I think in the photos that you shared with me earlier, I think maybe she's in one of those pictures. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. So because you also had a doula. I did. Yeah. So when did you meet up with your doula? Like, well, I guess how did you figure out at what point did you decide, oh, maybe I also want a doula? Yeah, so I knew even before I was pregnant that I was going to have a doula because of the books and things that I had been reading. Like doula was like a key word in those, in those sort of books. And I had already sort of established in my mind how important it was going to be for me to have a support person like that. As I don't have like family nearby or anything. And I sort of felt like having that. circle of women to be there and support you was not something that I just naturally had. So I thought to source it myself. And I had seen the lady that I had as my doula for a womb massage, which I had done like as I was trying to fall pregnant, as I was going through like a endometriosis diagnosis and things like that. So I was just trying to like, I was on my healing journey and I was. getting more into like the spirituality side of things. So I had the womb massage with her and found out that she was a doler as well. And we had already had that connection with the womb massage and I just, we just vibed really well. So I was like, I don't even, I'm not even gonna look at anybody else. Like I'm just, you've already done like this first step for me, you know, this healing, this healing massage. I feel like you're already a part of the journey. So then when the time came, I just. messaged her and we were already in contact because we had stayed in touch after that. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, that's almost like a first point of contact where I was like, guess what? I'm finally pregnant. Yeah. Oh, that's very special. That's like the ultimate continuity of care. Yeah. And the funny thing is, is that like I didn't, I hadn't put it together until after like, I was actually born, but. In conversation, I'd heard her saying the name Allora and I kept thinking like, what is she talking about me for? But it turned out her daughter was named Allora as well. And I just thought that was really... What? Like it's spelt the same way? I don't think it's spelt the same way, but yeah, just I thought, well, that's a trip. Like I had no idea. Meant to be, meant to be. That's very cool. And yeah, I remember when Trent... was explaining that because it's his best mate's daughter, is that correct? Or like you guys is one of your best mates. And so like that is so special. Like what a gift you have given to her. But like at what point did you like, is she like interested in birth or like how did this? How did that come up? Yeah. So she had said to me, like every now and then I've taken her like for dinner or to the movies or something, you know, and just hung out with her. And in our conversations, she said on a few occasions that she was quite interested in being a midwife. So when I was pregnant, I was sort of talking to Trent. I was like, Oh, I'd really like for her if she's interested, is very interested in becoming a midwife to get. like her first interaction with birth to be like a home birth. Yeah. So that she's going to probably go through like the education system, getting the really like, you know, hospitalized version of birth. But if she sees this as like her first interaction and experience with birth, then hopefully that just leaves like that imprint on her and like changes her career. Yeah. If that's what she pursues. Yeah, absolutely. She is 16, so she's still got like time to sort of. Maybe she'll go tell all her friends. Yeah. So. The revolution. Yeah. Well, that's sort of what I was like. Yeah. Learning about this whole birth revolution thing, I was like, that's potentially like something that I can do to have a bit of an impact on someone. And speaking to her afterwards, she was just like. Yeah, like so happy with the experience and she said like she's gonna home birth when she has babies. Yeah, she was really and she was so good as well because I wasn't sure she's still quite young. So I was a bit like, like if she gets overwhelmed, her dad can come pick her up and stuff. Yeah, she was like amazing the whole time. Very like mature for her age. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is so cool. And you know, in those last couple of weeks, did you have any signs of labor? So I was having Braxton Hicks, but I didn't know it until I went to the chiropractor for like my third or fourth appointment and she was doing the treatment and she's like, I'll just wait for this like contraction thing to pass. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, oh, you're having like, like Braxton Hicks. I was like, I didn't even know. I haven't. Like I can't feel it. She's like, yeah, your stomach's like hard, like a rock. That's, that's like a Braxton Hicks. And I was like, oh, that's weird. I had no idea. So apparently I had been having Braxton Hicks. I just didn't know what they felt like and I hadn't noticed it. And then leading up to the birth, there would have been probably a couple within a couple of days beforehand that I was having very mild menstrual sort of style cramping every now and then. And I was like, oh no, that just happens. You know, like that. That doesn't mean it's going to happen anytime soon. It could still be a week or two, you know. But yeah, no, it turned out that was definitely like the lead into the birth. Wow. Do you want to tell the story of the birth of Arius then? Yeah, sure. That's what we're here for. I don't know how to start it, but so. Yeah, so it was the. Thursday, which was the 24th of August. And I was going for a Chinese medicine appointment in the morning. We had, I'd been going like weekly for the past couple of weeks now that it was like leading up to the actual like time that he was going to be born as they were like, they tailor sort of the treatment that they're doing based on what area of the pregnancy you're in. So we had been switching it up and now it was like, honing down on preparing the body for like laboring and things. So I had gone in for the Chinese medicine. I remember driving there, I was starting to feel those light cramps again. Yep. And Trent had taken the day off work so that he could come with me. And I'd also had the light cramping like the day before that. And he was like, you're going into labor. I was like, no, like, it's too early. He's like, Right near his due date, I was just like blowing it off, you know? Yeah. The cramps are supposed to happen, it's just the body getting ready. But he was like convinced that it was happening. Yeah, yeah. The other thing was that I had had a chiropractic appointment the day before and then I had another one with her on the Friday, which was the due date. And she was like, I don't think I'll see you on Friday. So like, good luck with the birth. Wow. Okay. And I had told Trent that and he was like, yep, there's definitely, this is it. I was like, okay. And I was, I remember sitting in the Chinese medicine appointment, like with the like cops and stuff on my back, just like feeling these like cramps being like, I wonder if this is it, you know? But like the hypnobirthing people had also said the best thing to do is just pretend like it's not happening and just be into that. And I think I was like honing in on that. much more than like I was expecting. And I can remember we went and just had like a coffee and some lunch and then we were driving home and on the drive home Trent was like, oh, you should just start timing these cramps just, just so we can see like the pattern. And I was a bit reluctant to do it, but I, but I did. And then they had fizzled out like they did the day before. And I was like, oh no, that's just, that's just what. You know, it's just those really, really early stage crampings. Then I went about my day. I actually can't remember what I did that day, but then I remember it was in the evening, probably it was around dinner time and Trent was making dinner for me and the cramps had started again. And I was like, Oh, this is a bit different to yesterday. You know, like they fizzled out and that was it for the day. And then I had remembered the doula told me that. A lot of people go into labor in the evening and in the night. Okay, this we'll see what's happening. Yeah. We started timing the contractions again. And the app that I was using it like you after you time a few contractions, it sort of says like, Oh, maybe pack your bag and be ready to go to hospital. Oh yeah. I remember that happening to me as well. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, Okay. And then the, after a little while, like it was like, you should go to the hospital. So this is like actually probably progressing, but in my head, I was still a bit like, oh, it's just, it's not it. You know, I don't, I don't know why I kept saying that, but I was like, no, just don't worry about it. Trent's like, can you call the doula? Should we call the midwife? I was like, no, it's going to be fine. Like, we'll just relax. And also the midwife had said to me, no, because they, part of their program thing is that. I think it's an 18 hour window. If you're like, laboring for longer than 18 hours at home and nothing's happening, then you'd be transferred to the hospital. So the midwife had said to me, she was like, call me when you need me, but try not to call me too early. Because once I come, you're going to be on the clock and that's unfortunate. She thinks it's BS as well, but it's just what it is. the container she works with him. So I was like, don't call the midwife. We'll talk to the dolar and see what she says. So I would have messaged her at about 8pm and just let her know what was happening. And she lived about an hour away. So she was like, just bear in mind, like it is going to take me an hour to get there. So if you think things are actually happening, do let me know because it'll be a bit of a drive. And I sent her screenshots of the app and with the contractions and told her like Trent is convinced that I'm in labor. And she was like, I think he's right. But I can just come over and just hang out with you guys and we'll just see what happens. Like I'll just sleep on the couch or something if, if it fizzles out, I'll just go home, you know? So it was really nice of her to make the drive. I wasn't convinced that it was labor. Yeah, she was like, I agree with Trent and yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Trent was like, can she come and just hang out with us? Like he wanted her to be there and I was like, cool, whatever. So she did drive up. She would have got to our house at about 10pm. And I feel like I hadn't noticed anything had gotten any more intense at that point. Yeah. We were just watching like, some funny shows on on the TV just for like a bit of a distraction. And also, I like, in the hypnobirthing, they had said that even like being overly excited can be a slight hindrance to the birthing process as well. So I was trying to just keep it cool. I remember Trent was like dancing a little bit because he was really excited. And so the doula arrived and we were just sort of having a talk and she was just checking in with how I was feeling. And I was like, oh, like I'm fine, you know, like I've got these cramps, but they're not really that big of a deal. she sort of suggested that we do try to get some sleep. So she was just sleeping on the couch and we just went into the bedroom and I laid down for probably about 10, 15 minutes. And in that little like window of time, everything just like started to ramp up quite a lot. And I was like, oh yeah, okay. Like there's a definite like shift here that ramping started to get a lot more intense. So I had. just nudge trend. I was like, no, I'm not going to be able to sleep through this. Yeah. Went and sat back with the doler in the lounge room and just put like some music and stuff on. And we were just talking. She gave me the tense machine and she like set it all up for me and told me how to use it. Like it's like on this low frequency and then there's a button you push just that just like shoots it straight up to like the highest power and just progressively over probably. Maybe like an hour, I just noticed like my breathing was starting to get like heavier and deeper. And then I was like pushing the button on the tens machine more. And then eventually I was starting to like stop halfway through my sentences. And that's when I started to realize, oh, like I'm starting to not be able to like focus on conversation and keep talking through it. And then things were, yeah, really quite progressing. And the next thing. I knew I was like on the floor, on my hands and knees. And at that point it was like fading in and out of not full consciousness, but definitely not being fully aware of what was happening around me. And this is where, like, I can't remember the full experience at all. Like I only remember like highlights and chucks and snippets sort of thing. I can remember like being on the floor and leaning against the lounge and I don't know exactly why but my legs were just just shaking and trembling so much that I just couldn't stand. The shaking was so intense as I was going through the contractions and things and I remember seeing our friend's daughter arrive and she came and sat with me and she was like I'm rubbing my back and Trent was helping Mike just like rub my head, my hair and stuff like that. You know, just helping me get through the contractions. Um, and then they had filled the pool up for us cause we had the birth pool. Um, and I had started asking about if I could get into the pool. The midwife had arrived at that point. I don't remember Trent calling, but he did. And, and. didn't put her on the phone to me as they usually do. Cause I probably wouldn't have been able to say anything to her anyway. And I did get into the pool. So I was laboring in the pool for a little while and it felt so good. It was just so nice to be in the water. I really loved it. But then the midwife asked me to hop out because all of my contractions had just like really slowed down to just about nothing. Like it had all gone away and she was like, you're way too relaxed. in the water, you have to hop out to get things moving again. So I very begrudgingly got out of the water because I wasn't, like my legs were so shaky and it was just uncomfortable to have to climb out of the pool. But I trusted her that she was advising me to do what was best for the birth. Like I had that faith in her. So I listened and I got out of the water and I remember we went into the bedroom after that and Trent was with me in the bedroom. No one else came in and it was just try and just spend some time together, just relax, maybe have a bit of a lay down. And we did like some swaying and rocking and things like that just to try and to pick the contractions and things back up again. And then I don't know how long we were in there for, but the midwife did came in and she offered. to do a cervical exam at that point. This was the first time she had offered it to me and I was like, yeah, okay, I wouldn't mind just knowing what was happening sort of thing. And it was probably the worst part of the whole labor was having that exam. It was so unpleasant. She did it and I don't think she got. even the whole way into it, you know, and I was immediately like, please stop. And she did. And it was just so painful and I hated it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But she did say that I was four centimeters dilated. Okay. Yeah. I can remember like laying on the bed and I could see like the sun starting to come through the curtains. Yeah. Okay. Oh, you know, like it's been like the whole night and I was just in that moment started to get a little bit of that. I think that. confidence crisis, you know, like, oh dear. And I remember just sitting on the end of the bed at that point. And then I started vomiting so much. I was really, really sick. And while I was like vomiting, I was having contractions and I, and that was the moment where I, yeah, I sat there and I was like, geez, I don't like, it's only four centimeters. I don't know how much. Yeah. I'm going to be able to do this. Like it's been all night. It's already been all night. And I, but then it was like that information that I had given myself in preparation was like, you can go from four to 10 centimeters. Yeah. Or like, this is, this is potentially transition. You're going to meet this wall, you know? Yeah. Yeah. In that. moment, like I had that voice in my head that was like, this is really intense. Like I hadn't eaten or drunk anything in hours and I was like losing my energy. That's why they wanted me to try and have a sleep. Um, but being able to tell myself, like recognize those parts of the progress and tell myself like, this is what's supposed to happen. It was enough for me to sort of be like, just talk myself back out of it. And then they suggested that I laid down. just to try and have like a sleep if I could between the contractions. And I laid down and that would have been almost as equally as painful as being there. Yeah, Like, oh, laying down was just terrible. Like I just couldn't do it. So just ended up coming back out of the bedroom and ended up back on the floor in the lounge room on my hands and knees with the shaking still going on crazy. And then, The midwife suggested that I go lay on the toilet for a little while. Yeah. And she asked that while I was on the way to the toilet that I do these really high like steps where you bring your knees up to your chest, like as you're walking. Yeah. Like help soldier marching kind of. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, this is just a maneuver to try and help baby like shuffle down, you know? Yeah. It was very unpleasant to do, but again, I trusted that. she was just trying to help progress things as much as she could without being too interfering, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I did these giant steps to the toilet and then I was on the toilet laboring for a while and had the TENS machine back on. I can remember they were trying to feed me just like a little bit of banana and honey and stuff and I was like, do I want it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then after laboring on the toilet for a little while. I was back in the lounge room and then I started asking about the pool again, because I wanted to get back into the water and they had topped up the warmth of the pool before I got in. Excellent. Then I started to just continue laboring in the water, which was really relaxing. And I have no concept of the actual time that I was in there. It's just like a blur. Yeah. Yeah. At one point, feeling things in my body change. Okay. Yeah. And I was like, interest, like that was interesting. You know, like, I don't know what's happening, but something's definitely different. Yeah. And I think that might have been when he, I suppose was like the dilating might've finished and he was getting ready to actually start like coming out. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if that's what it is, like, I mean, you'll, you'll, we'll never know, but like that's. that connection to your body. That's like so incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I've always sort of had a very good connection to body. So, yeah, yeah. I feel like I could pinpoint certain things happening. Yeah. And then I, yeah, not long after that, there was another shift and it was my body was starting to push. Like I could feel my body was pushing and I had really wanted to experience like the, fetal ejection. So I was trying as hard as I could to just let my body do it itself. I was also having this really overwhelming urge to push alongside the body pushing. Yeah. So the contractions had shifted into these like pushing more pushing contractions and I could just feel that my body was tensing to push. And then I was sort of making a conscious decision to like put my energy into the push at the same time. So yeah, did that for a little while and I didn't have any coaching other than a couple of times my midwife just suggested to maybe like do a squat in a certain position or, you know, just to sort of help. Like, yeah, yeah. And if I didn't do it, she didn't pressure me. She was just like very gently. encouraging certain movements and things, but I was also very much intuitively just moving a lot in the pool, like swaying and things like that. I was having as part of the program, they do have to do the heart rate check. Oh, the Doppler. Yeah. But like I saw in some of the birth video afterwards that she was doing it, but I actually don't remember her even doing it in the time. Yeah. Yeah. but Trent had said to me like she was very respectful. Like she was actually asking before she did anything like that. And if I said no, she just like walked away and came back later, you know? And she didn't come if I was having a contraction. So that was really good. Yeah. And then, yeah, so I was having this like these pushing sensations. I was pushing, I was pushing. And I actually found that part way less intense than the contractions and the actual like labor. I'm still in the water. I started to feel like the expanding, you know, and they were showing me in the mirror and it looked a bit different to like what I'd seen in videos and stuff. And I was like, oh, it looks different. And I was just curious what was happening. And it turned out that he was still in his like sack. Oh, what? Just pausing there to add in something pretty special that Allora only recently discovered through a debrief. And that is that Aryas was actually born with a nuchal arm, which means his head was actually birthed with his hand by his face. Yeah. So he was still like my waters hadn't broken yet. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Like the sack was coming out first. Wow. So it was like a bit of like a, like a water bubble. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. So the sack was coming out first and they were saying that was quite good because it, it helps with the stretching before the head. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also the fact that he was still in the sack was good for, it was like lubricant for him coming down the birth passage. So it was like a gentler birth. Um, and like his, once his head was starting to come out, is when the waters broke. So we heard like this pop sound, which was like interesting to hear, especially because it underwater. But it popping sound. And then like the waters had broken. His head started to come out. The only time the midwife had said anything to me was there was quite an extended period of time where his little head was just kind of like halfway out. And she said that I needed to give it a bit of a push because the constriction of like, the like vagina around his head at that point would be quite tight and like elastic band and that it could cause like stress. So yeah. Okay. And that was something I had actually read. So I was like, yeah, that's fair. And I gave it a bit of a heave ho and, and, and got him past that little point. Cause she's like, I don't want to have to like, I don't want him to get stressed and for things to progress in a less desirable direction. So let's just do that. Um, once his little head was out. he did the little turn, which was a really crazy thing to feel. Yeah. Very interesting. Yeah. And what did you like, like what it what was going through your head when that was happening? Because like it happened to me with Frankie as well. And I was just like, what the heck is that? Yeah, yeah, no, very much the same. Like they, they were, the midwife was sort of guiding me through and she's like, he's gonna, he's gonna start turning. And I could feel it. And I was like, well, that's really weird. Like it's really weird. Like I had, I had, they talked about that in the hypnobirthing, but I had forgot about it and then it was happening. And I was like, wow, this feels really weird. Like it's a really strange sensation. And then like the little face. comes back off and it's just like a what yeah it's really surreal and I can remember looking at him under the water and then like his shoulders shot out and he was sort of halfway in and out and he sort of sat there for a little bit waiting like waiting for another contraction to do the last bit of it and I had my arms like all my hands around his arms holding him and I remember looking down at him just be like whoa this is crazy and then he he came out and I picked him up and I brought him up and He was like crying straight away. He was bright red. And so we knew he was absolutely fine at that point. And then Trent was crying and then everyone else was crying. And I was just still like half off the planet. Not quite there, but I was happy and looking at everyone was crying. Why is everyone crying? I'm not crying. Yeah, it was like such a good part of like the whole video that you shared with me was so, so cool because, yeah, like I saw that, you know, Ares's body was like still like, yeah, it took, it wasn't like that, like slide on out. It was just like slide and then a little bit longer. And then the rest came and then yeah, that Trent was like overwhelmed with like happy tears and just like. Yeah, I felt like you, you also were just like, wow, like, yeah, I think that's yeah, I was definitely like, wow. And, and but in a different way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the day in that moment when you realize you did it and you're just like, wow, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like, this is something I've read about and like, And now it's happening to me. I did it. Yeah. Now people can like read about me and listen to me. Yeah. Yeah. And I suppose like you, especially as like a first time, like you always will have like a, it's just a tiny smithere of you that is a little bit like, what if I can't do it? And you, you have to have the like strength to like push that down as much as you can, but to finally have done it and been like, wow. Yeah. And then I suppose like all the hormones and everything that are flowing. It's just, yeah, like, like I feel like my emotions at that moment were a little bit different to the whole room. Yeah. The energy in that room was just like buzzing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And did you stay in the pool for long? Yeah, so I think it would have been maybe about half an hour. Like they... had put in like my dislike birth plan that I had given the midwife was just like, I don't want to be like rushed out of things, you know, I just want to do what I do. And, and she was very respectful of that. And they just wanted to put a towel on Arias just to help keep him warm. Yep. And then we just sat in the pool for a little while waiting for the placenta to be born. I started to have like little cramps and stuff again. And yeah, you know, after there, 20 -ish hours of labor, I was like, oh, I don't really wanna feel this again. Yeah, not again. Yeah, not again, but it wasn't anywhere near as intense as the actual contractions and didn't last very long. It sort of stopped, but the placenta hadn't come out yet and the midwife was like, oh, maybe just stand up for a second. And I stood up and then just everything fell out of me. Yeah. It was quite... gory in a way. The water was quite clear in the pool. There wasn't a lot of blood and mess from the birth. And Arius came out very clean. But then in just like a second, the pool was red. And there was just this like, this like, yeah, everything just fell out. And I can remember in that second, like the back pain from the sciatica just like disappeared. I mean, I felt being like 10 kilos lighter like straight away. Yeah, I mean, pretty much. Like if you include like the baby and the amniotic fluid and the placenta, like that's a lot. Just this weight dropped out. Yeah. And it was like in that moment as well that I was like, the pregnancy is like over. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah. Sort of like symbolic of like the ending. Yeah. And I think I think the birth of the placenta, I've said it so many times before, like, It is like such an important part that is often forgotten, but it really is like that whole, yeah, like it is part of the whole, um, I want to say that process or experience, but like that placenta is like what kept your baby alive, what helped your baby grow. And like after it's been born, like, That's it. Like it's done its job. Like, farewell, thank you, placenta. Like that's the whole thing. It was like something that I hadn't even thought about, but just, yeah, in that moment I was like, wow, like I can really feel that like closure of the whole experience. And another thing I forgot to say about, like before the placenta had come out and it was still connected, my doula had suggested that I... could feel the cord and I felt the cord and I could feel it pulsating and that was amazing. So yeah, we did like the delayed cord cutting until it had gone white, which was quite quick really. And then Trent cut the cord and I had, well, I hopped out of the pool and they had put blankets and everything down on my couch so that I could just sit on the couch straight over various. And I just had him on my chest letting him, start like his crawl to the breast and Trent cut the cord and yeah like the doula she just like immediately kind of started emptying the pool and she tipped like the water on the lawn and over some of our plants which were looking a little a little rough but they started to bloom like the next day which was amazing. I was going to say so like nutrients like blood like like they put that on gardens like um. What's that called? It smells horrible. Is it called blood and bone or something? Yeah. Yeah. So we put it on some trees that had lost all their leaves and in a couple of days they all had leaves again and we were like, oh, beautiful. There you go. There you go. You should have sold it. You could have sold it by the liter. And they did show me the placenta. I did want to have a look. But it was a bit... it didn't come out in like a whole piece. It was a bit like a couple of pieces sort of thing. And we did do like a stamp of the placenta on paper as best as we could to create that beautiful placental art. And then we wrapped it in a mixing bowl and glad wrap and just put it in the fridge till we decided what we're going to do with it. We ended up burying it in the backyard under a tree. Um, and then, yeah, so like the doula she cleaned up, the midwives helped clean up. I had my like little thing where they just check for tearing and I had no tearing or anything. So it was all pretty good. I did have like some lightheadedness and, and things, uh, like, yeah, like lightheaded and wasn't able to really like stand up and walk around for a little while, which they had attributed to just not having eaten anything for like 24 hours. And yeah. It'd be like running a marathon without like taking any water or any like energy gels or something. Yeah, exactly. So they just get as much food into you as quickly as you can. And I did and then I felt better. And that was we ordered pizza for dinner and just sat around eating pizza. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty crazy after that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and so Arya says almost four months, you said on the on Christmas day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and like, I guess compared to maybe stories you've heard and things like that, but just like, how would you speak about, you know, this past four months and like your experience, your, you know, it's your first baby. It's like, you know, initiation into motherhood, parenthood, like, do you have any like words to like summarize that experience? Yeah. So I, I feel like the work that I put into trying to set myself up for the best possible postpartum period paid off. All of my friends and family who have had babies recently went through really hard postpartum. Everyone had the sort of same story of emergency cesarean and then couldn't breastfeed and had postnatal depression or anxiety or something. And I just... It's like, this isn't right, you know, I really want to make sure that I can avoid that as much as I can for myself. So that's why I did the things that I did. And I think that it really paid off because I have found the past four months to be pretty much a breeze. So, yeah, I haven't had really any emotional issues. We've been like co -sleeping, so we sleep really well and not tired in the day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing I could say is that Arius hates driving in the car, which is not what I expected. Cause everyone, everyone's like, baby's loves the car. I'm like, he hates it. I got a faulty baby. So other than that, like, no, the postpartum part has been just like amazing for me. And I feel like based on everything that I learned and read is that I like could attribute a lot of that to just. going through the birth process naturally and not being affected by drugs and, and missing hormones that weren't, my body didn't get the opportunity to release and, and also just like having educated myself, like I said, on, on breastfeeding and knowing that it takes a while even for your milk to come in properly and just give it some time. And as you said earlier, like it's, It's a natural thing, but it doesn't come naturally. Yeah. We spent a lot of time figuring out exactly how to make it work, you know? Yeah. I feel like if you didn't know that and you weren't breastfeeding within a couple of hours of birth, then you would just be like, well, I have to give him a bottle. Yeah. Yeah. But he's like totally another part of like the whole thing that you just. I guess maybe it's like a lesson for motherhood as well. You just need to trust yourself and trust your body. And, um, I, I see like a lot of, um, you should have social media, like posts from moms about supply and stuff. And I go, I pumped, but like, it was only this much, but like, babies are so clever. Like they're like complete your breasts and your baby are like completely designed to, to breastfeed. Like, They're so much more efficient than something that, you know, was only invented, I don't know, whenever breast pumps were invented. Yeah. And I'm, I believe as well, basically, again, like the things that I've read in that, that there's so much push to sort of separate mom and baby. Yeah. And breastfeeding is beneficial even for. the mental health like after the birth, like with hormones and things that support you. So, and I just see a lot of that missing in so many of my friends and family stories. And yeah, like I had friends who just had planned cesareans and because they just didn't even trust that their body could birth, you know, and I thought that was really sad and that they didn't have that trust in their body. And yeah. then and then the mainstream like narrative doesn't support. Yeah. The opposite either. It just encourages it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Like, like the books and everything I'd read. I was like, that's not how it's supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I sort of, I remember saying to Trent before he was born, like, I wonder if, if everything that I've like read is true and like, or if it's just a bit of fluff, you know, but having been through it, I'm like, no, that is like, I can't fault anything that I've read about natural birth, you know, and it not being, being better for you and everything. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause until, um, yeah, like actually happens, it's kind of, yeah, it's just words on paper. You don't really have anything, um, you know, to solidify that, but like this experience, like, we'll all carry it within ourselves somehow, like forever, for the rest of your life. Yeah, yeah. Even, you know, if you're 80 years old and may forget, you know, the actual labor and stuff like that, the impact that it's had on, you know, this postpartum period and like your bonding and like, just how you see your body like that, that doesn't get lost. Absolutely not. So yeah. Yeah. And the whole experience is you come out of that. Yeah. Like I came out of it feeling like a completely different woman, you know, just like the old me died and you were reborn. You can't pinpoint exactly what it is, but it's not the same. You're not the same anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree. for the better. Yeah, exactly. Thank you so, so much for sharing your first home, mum, home birth, a beautiful, beautiful home birth. I'm so excited to also share some of the pictures on Instagram. So make sure if you're listening to this episode with Elora, that you check out the Instagram as well, because I've seen some of the pictures and they're incredible. So thank you so much. Oh, thank you.